Getting Close To The Where

Since the engagement, the fiancé and I have been spending a fair amount of time deciding what we want to do with regard to the wedding. As anyone that has planned a wedding can attest to, there are plenty of decisions to make, and I feel like we've just started to scratch the surface of the decisions we have to make.

One of the decisions we're still hacking out is what to do about the ceremony. Every couple has to deal with a plethora of questions when it comes to wedding ceremonies, but when it comes to a queer couple, a few more pop to mind. We need to decide what kind of ceremony we want to have, where we want to have it, if we'd like to do it somewhere where our union would be legally recognized…. Add those to the normal questions a couple might need to answer and it quickly becomes a lot more that needs to be decided than originally expected.

Out of those, we have made a couple decisions. We want to have the ceremony somewhere where it is legally recognized. That means we'll have to go to Iowa or Massachusetts or possibly Canada. We like the idea of supporting places that support us, and I like knowing that we have legal protections somewhere, even if no in our home state. Does make me wonder though if we get married in Canada would that marriage be recognized in another country that recognizes same sex marriage?

I think we're also leaning toward a private ceremony with a public party. To me, our vows are ours and ours alone. I only want to share those with one person. Because of this, one of our current ideas (which is also the front runner) is for us to travel somewhere to get married privately, then host a public reception back in Chicago. Also, I'm not keen on destination weddings because of the cost to everyone else, so that's part of the thinking here as well.

We've certainly got much more planning to do, but I think we've at least laid some ground work for how to proceed.