I've been quiet on the wedding planning front, and for good reason. Frankly, things have been chaotic and trying to plan everything is taking most of the time that I previously used for blogging about it. I know they say it in the movies, but this one they got right: planning a wedding is hard work!
Looking back at my last wedding update (OMG, I haven't written about this since October??), we were considering the possibility of marrying in Chicago because of the introduction of a marriage equality bill here. However, little to no action has taken place on the bill, so I have to still put that in my "hopefully this will pass" dreams. All that said, we are set on going to Vancouver in Canada for our wedding.
Why Vancouver?
So why Vancouver? A few reasons:
1 - We want to make sure that wherever I get married, my union will be legally recognized. Marrying in Canada means the entire federal government of that country recognizes me and my husband as a married couple, and should we ever need to provide proof of that marriage, we have a legally sanctioned, federal document supporting our nuptials.
2 - We don't want to marry somewhere that may change their minds shortly after we marry. After the debacle in California, I'm not sure I trust any state to continue to support marriage equality. Politicians, and particularly the Democratic Party, are a shifty bunch and voters are even less reliable. We don't want to think about getting married somewhere then two months later some hillbilly down the street changing their minds and revoking our legally married status.
3 - We want to marry somewhere that people actually want us. We don't want to worry about finding a particular church that can possibly tolerate us (not that we would marry in a church, but still…) or a reception hall that would be oh so kind as to "deal" with us queers. No, we'd rather reward someplace that will welcome us and be happy to have us.
4 - That said, Vancouver is both gay friendly and very beautiful. Not to mention it won't be nearly as expensive as it normally would consider the city will still be trying to recover from the tourism slump that always follows being an Olympic Host City.
So What About The Reception?
Another thing we have decided on is the reception. Our initial idea was to host our wedding in Canada for just us, then have a reception in Chicago for our family and friends. While this is a great idea and a very sweet idea, it is frankly just too expensive.
We don't have an endless supply of money to put together both a trip to Canada for our wedding day and a full-on reception, and neither of us is particularly keen on the idea of half-assing a reception. We're doing to whole shebang on our own and have to be mindful of our means. We also refuse to go into debt for this event, which would mean we'd be starting our married life out on the wrong foot all together.
So, we plan on having a small wedding in Canada and an intimate reception while there. I say small because I'm realistic. Asking our friends and family to come to Canada is a big financial commitment. Add to that that people will need to get passports. Now we know people will want to be there, but many of them simply will not be able to make that happen. And that's while that's not optimal, it's OK. Honestly, I'm more concerned with the above issues and we can always have a party in Chicago later or an anniversary party or something.
And here we are, ordering our Save The Date cards and contacting a thousand wedding planners and hotels… let the fun begin!
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