How To Get People To Stop Trying

Have you ever wondered why more people don’t get up and do something to make the world better? I have. And I know why many people don't. No matter what you do, however big or small, someone else will write it off as "not good enough."

I mentioned Dan Savage's new project, It Gets Better, the other day. I still think it is a really cool idea, and since it launched there have been literally hundreds of other people contributing their videos to this project. People have been pouring out heartfelt attempts at trying to console other human beings, and although they may not be in direct contact with someone who is suffering, they are doing what is offered to them as something that can help.

What is sad then is that there are those that feel the need to lash out at Dan and It Gets Better because, I suppose, he has the nerve to do something accessible. This is just one post that attacks the project as being irresponsible, vile, untrue, and/or just plain wrong. And I just don't get what the issue is.

Reading the post, I can see some thought-provoking criticism… but I'm not going to go so far as to say that it is valid. The essential thesis of the post is that a person of Dan's stature should do more. How much more is not clearly defined, although things like giving people space and time and listening are mentioned. Oh, and money. Of course.

OK, great, so there are other things people can do. So… how do we do them? If this writer were correct in saying It Gets Better is inaccessible to the average youth, and if I were inclined to agree with that, wouldn't I then want some resources or information on what else I could do? Yeah, I probably would, and I would probably go do something with that information.

The fallacy of this writer is that instead of offering genuine help, only criticism is offered. Not even constructive criticism. And that, my friends, is the root of why more people don't go out and help their neighbor. Because no matter how genuine and heart-felt their actions may be, someone with a mega-phone will be yelling at them that they did it wrong, or didn't really help. And if I didn't really help by contributing what I could, why should I bother to contribute at all?

I also find this whole notion to be ironic given that It Gets Better is designed to help kids survive bullying. The end result of bullying is feeling useless and/or unwanted. Yet here this writer is achieving a similar end result by telling people that their contributions are useless and/or unwanted.

I'm sorry, but the premis is ridiculous. If you would like people to do more, then by all means offer more for them to do. Otherwise, be happy that projects like It Gets Better get launched as something that many people can do, and be happy that those people are at least doing something.