Why The Hate Against The A-List Is Pointless

Yesterday I wrote about The A-List and why I really enjoyed the series. In short, it's campy, it's gay, it's bitchy and it's cathartic to watch a bunch of privileged Marys be reduced to catty divas. I also mentioned that there was a lot of criticism of the show and I touched on it just a little bit. However, I feel the hate against the show deserves its very own post… so here it is!

Haters Gotta Hate

Plenty of Gays absolutely hate this show, and for various reasons. Some people just don't enjoy this type of "Real Housewives" style reality show, or just despise reality shows in general. That's fair. If a viewer doesn't enjoy this type of show there isn't really a chance that they'll like this specific show. So we'll move past those criticisms because there's no arguing taste.

The hate that I've seen spewed at the show though has nothing to do with the type of show it is, but the content of the show. I've read time and time again that the show focuses on such negative portrayals of gay men, and that the show is not at all representative of gay life, and that the show is all about privileged queens that don't have to experience real life as a gay person. And that's just the beginning of the hate. As they say in the commercials, "but wait, there's more!"

The Gays Are All Super Positive, Happy People

Lets start the deconstruction of the anti-A-List arguments. First up: The show paints Gays in a very negative light.

For me to believe that the A-List paints Gays as a whole in a negative light, I would first have to assume that all gay men are privileged and only spend their time doing wonderful, fabulous things in high-rises with panoramic views or being swept off to private parties on Fire Island every other weekend. Which I don't believe, namely because I can speak from personal experience that all us Gays are not that kind of Gay.

So now that we can accept that The A-List, a show specifically designed to not show average gay life, does not represent normal gay life, can we all agree that the show doesn't portray Gays in a negative light? Sure, it paints Reichen as an idiot, Austin as a drama queen, and Derrick as a self-involved douche, but those characters are not ALL THAT IS GAY. Shit, those portrayals probably aren't even accurate for those people, much less for Gays as a whole.

And if you're worried that non-Gay people or even anti-gay people will use A-List as a talking point when describing the evils of gay life, then you're missing the point. Those people will always look at gay life as evil, even if we had a Mother Theresa in our ranks. So who cares what they think of a show that they shouldn't be watching if they are as offended by homosexuals as they say they are?

That's Totes Not What It's Like

Now then, let's tackle the notion that the show isn't representative of Gay Life. In short, I'll say this: Bull Shit.

We all know these queens. Whether we know them as Reichen, Jeff, Frank, Julio, (insert random name here), it doesn't matter. And whether we chose to associate with those people is also irrelevant. The fact is that people like this exist and they are part of the gay community, like it or not. We can chose whether to be friends with these people, but we can't erase them from existence.

Are they representative of ALL gay life? Nope, they sure aren't, just like I mentioned in my previous point. The show never purports to tell the story of all Gay Life either. It is presenting these guys as part of the rainbow we all live under. Nothing more, nothing less.

We're The Real Gays, Not Those Pompous Pricks

Last, but not least, I want to take on the idea that the show is irrelevant and terrible because it doesn't portray real gay life, as it only shows privileged gays living unrealistic lives of fancy.

Well… yes, frankly that's true. The whole idea of the show is that it is about well-to-do gays in New York City. It is not a documentary on everyday gay life. It's a reality show based on the lives of the rich 'mos of NYC. Soooo… I'm left wondering why people are that surprised or offended when a show called The A-List isn't all about very non-list lives?

Let's also be real for a moment: do you really want to watch a show about your every day life? Do you really care to see 6 gay guys doing the same exact shit you do every day, going to similar boring jobs, staying in on weekend nights to watch trashy reality shows? No… no, you don't. You want to watch something that takes you out of your element. And A-List did just that.

Perhaps We're Being Just A Little Sensitive

Frankly, I have to wonder why there is even a controversy. Perhaps it's still so unusual for LGBT people to see ourselves spotlighted as the sole focus of a TV show. Perhaps we have become so accustomed to be the gag characters in TV and film that we're afraid that secretly The A-List is just another attempt at making jokes out of us. Or perhaps we have a collective need to tear down those of us who are famous (or quasi-famous… staring in a Logo show is about the equivalent of being a YouTube star) because we're secretly jealous it's not us in the spotlight?

Whatever it is, it's all silly and quite pointless. The A-List is a trashy reality show at it's heart. Hell, it's even produced by the same company that produces Real Housewives of Atlanta, and anyone who has seen that show knows what trashy reality shows are like. To pretend that A-List is somehow culturally significant or representative of anything other than the cast of characters is placing WAY too much importance on the show! We likely won't remember or care about A-List in 10 years, so why should we focus so much attention on it now when it is clearly meant to be momentary entertainment?

Sometimes, we as a Gay Community get far too worried about what Straight People think about us, or how we present ourselves. We get concerned that if a bad story about any of us gets out that the whole of the world will seize that as The Reason queers should be discriminated against. But that really doesn't give the straight world much credit, now does it? Like I said earlier, there will always be nut jobs that take every opportunity to point out what they think is crazy gay behavior, but everyone else knows them to be nut jobs. Most people, in fact almost all people, recognize reality shows for the fantasy that they are. They are about as representative of real life as marshmallow chicks are of real chickens.

And straight readers, I have to ask perhaps the key question here: had you even heard of or watched The A-List until I posted about it?

We don't watch the Real Housewives and presume that is what being a well-to-do Housewife is… do we? Or watch an episode of Real World an assume that all young men and women are like those drunken fools… do we? If you do, then perhaps it is you who needs to get a grip on reality.

It's All Politics

I said in yesterday's post that the most significant objection to the show was political and I stand by that. All the reasons discussed above are all political objections to how we feel we are being portrayed and being seen, which is a legitimate concern. We should be concerned with how LGBT people are being represented in the media. But if we're being honest with ourselves, we'd see that our reaction to the show is more endemic of our politics than the show itself. We are so concerned with how we're seen by others that we forget to see ourselves sometimes.

We are diverse. We are not all Ricky Martins or Reichens or Elton Johns or Ellens. We have lots of different stories to tell. But we cannot be so damn sensitive as to not see a show like the A-List and smile about it. It's not you or me, but it is somebody. It's not all gay life, but it is some gay life. It's not at all representative of who we are as an LGBT people, but it is how some of us are.

We have to be OK with that, because when we throw fits and temper tantrums about TV not representing everything we are right now, this very instant, we start to look like petulant children. While a show like the A-List may make its cast look like whiny brats, all of the pompous declarations and angry letter writing over something so silly (and honestly not damning or offensive) does make the community as a whole look like crying children.

We need to get over it, and not just about The A-List. We need to get over these hang-ups we have as a community and embrace ourselves with open arms. We have bitchy, queeny, catty, vapid wretches in our midst just like we have sweet, honest, saintly, genuine people in our little niche. We have fat people and skinny people, lethargic people and motivated people, butches and femmes. And even beyond that, a TV show that is built from the ground up to be tongue-in-cheek cannot continue to offend us. Smile, point and laugh, critique individual behavior, do all of that, but don't internalize those images as a reflection of yourself if they aren't. But do realize that may be the reflection of your friend or neighbor, and that's OK. There's nothing wrong with it.