Thursday, April 23, 2009

Why We Can't "Let Her Slide"

I love the Bilerico Project. It's one of my favorite blogs to read, if only because they go out of their way to provide different perspective on issues within the LGBT community. The reason I love reading these various opinions is because they often make me question my own opinion or belief, which leads to me either change my opinion or firm up my previously held belief. Sometimes though, the pieces I read on Bilerico just infuriate me, as was the case with a piece I read on the way to work this morning (which, oddly I can't find anymore... wonder what happened to it...).

The author's premise is that the spectacle caused by Miss California's ignorant comments and the subsequent media rush around her and equally ignorant Perez Hilton is absolutely useless to the marriage equality movement. Furthermore, Miss California should be essentially let off the hook for her comments because she'd just too stupid to know better. I have several big problems with this concept.

First, let's examine the non-gay layer of this cake. The author presumes that because the girl is a Beauty Contestant, she must obviously be ignorant. Because pretty girls can't be smart, and women that would dare subject themselves to the rigors of a Miss America contest are even lower on the intelligence scale. While one might have understandable and justifiable objections to the ideal of a female Beauty Pageant, assuming that all that enter that contest are ignorant is mildly sexist and highly elitist. Am I saying that you should accept those people with open arms? No, because I think it's reasonable to say that you would choose to not associate with them. But to instantaneously dismiss them and put them down for being "dumb, pretty girls" is just as asinine as saying you don't believe in Equality because it's "just the way you were raised."

Second, dismissing Miss California's comments because she's just not smart enough to understand what she's saying is antithetical to fighting for hearts and minds. Fred Phelp's isn't going to change, but if you let his message go unchallenged, you are in essence validating it. I would not suggest you treat an out-right Bigot the same as a lazy, casual hater (what I would qualify Miss California as), but in either case if you let that message stand on it's own, you are validating it in the eyes of the masses. For some unforeseen reason, there are people that will look up to her and take her thoughts and opinion as their own, particularly if someone doesn’t stand up and say that those thoughts are wrong. If we are going to give her a by pass, we may as well forget about talking about school bullying as those kids are obviously not smart enough to know the difference either, right?

Finally, I cannot accept that exposing the issue to the public and putting in front of people is a bad idea, even if it's in the form of one prima donna spitting at another. Sure, it's then reduced to mindless quips, however this debate on Marriage Equality has been reduced to that by mainstream media in ever instance anyway. Shooting down Perez for standing up for our rights in such a public manner, regardless of his words, only serves to fuel to fire of the anti-gay torch bearers. Apologizing for his behavior only equates to apologizing for our outrage and anger, and I will be last person you will ever see apologizing for being pissed that I STILL do not have equal rights in the country.

So no, I don't think we should "let her slide" or move on to a "more intelligent" debate. Here is today's battlefield, and I say we stand and fight.

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