500th Post! Oh, And Farewell!

HOOOOOORAAAY! Happy 500th post to me! I made it, I made it!

…

Kinda. While this is technically my 500th post here on I'm Just Gaying…, it's is also going to be my last. It's time to lay IJG to rest. It's been a good few years, and I've had quite a few ups and downs here, but as my posting schedule of late can attest, my heart just isn't here anymore.

So I figured my 500th post would be a perfect time to call it quits. In my time writing here, I've covered politics, queer activism, video games, music, weddings, and gay chicken, but I'm ready to take another step in my life now and let go of I'm Just Gaying…

But this isn't the end of my writing. I feel like I'm Just Gaying… was my baby who is now all growed up and doesn't need me anymore. And like any parent going through empty nest, I've had another child. Or blog… I think I've confused myself with my own metaphor here…

What I was getting at is that I'll now be writing over at my new blog: Richard's Reliquary. I feel like 500 posts is a good place to put IJG to bed and give myself the freedom to repurpose my writing. So join me at Richard's Reliquary to talk about my life and growing into my 30's.

I realize this post is probably more for me than for anyone else, as I don't think many people are still keeping up with I'm Just Gaying… but I do want to thank you all for sticking around and reading, commenting and sharing with me over the years. I've really loved writing here and getting your feedback, and I sincerely hope you follow me over to Richard's Reliquary.

This Is Your Republican Party, America

I was angry when the Republicans controlled the Federal House, Senate and the Presidency (and the Supreme Court, if we're being honest). But that anger never reached the level of Rage that I feel today.

In some sweeping and utterly disgusting moves, the GOP has truly shown it's colors today. Remember, this is the party of "compassionate conservatism"…

Destruction of the Working Class

Governor Scott Walker and his lackeys in the Wisconsin house and senate have somehow, and with little legal integrity, passed a bill designed solely to destroy state workers unions. This, in their estimation, was a measure designed to Save The State. The State will go broke if the Unions are still in existence, according to their estimation.

Yet this does nothing to resolve state budget issues. In fact, if it was related to state budget issues, their senate could not have "passed" the measure in the way they did, which prohibits voting on any budget-related bill without more than 50% of the senate. But that's irrelevant, because this isn't about the budget.

At it's heart, this is a measure designed to destroy the Democratic Party's base. Unions are to Democrats as the NRA is to the Republicans. It's just an unfortunate side-effect that working class people are now set down a dangerous path where representation and fair bargaining are now longer within reach.

All Hail Cesar

Jump the pond over to Michigan, where another completely Republican-run legislative and executive branch have passed some quaint laws today. Namely, they have decided that Big State Government knows best. If the governor so chooses, he or she can dissolve your properly and legally elected local government and install one of their choosing. You know, so they can handle financial issues in a way they think is best without any recourse or due process.  Like dissolving unions, firing public employees, and other day-to-day duties.

For those of you who say your vote doesn't count, you now have a valid point. In Michigan at least. Because no matter how you decide to run your town or your local school district, if the State doesn't like it they can oust your officials and replace them.

There's really no need for those pesky elections anymore. I mean, you could hold elections, but they'd have about as much integrity as an Iranian election.

Sing It, Cindy!

So yes Republicans, we have seen your true colors today. They have sat back and made grandiose claims about the Democrats, and President Obama in particular, pushing for Socialism or Totalitarianism. Yet in one day they have shown that they really are the pushers of fringe governmental tactics.

And yes, I take the actions of these state legislators as indicators of what the national republican agenda is because there isn't a single national republican official standing up to denounce these acts as farce and lunacy. By their silence, they are showing their acceptance.

Vacation Time By Country... Guess Where The US Ranks?

Man, I guess those labor unions here in the states really are the cause of all our financial problems....

Silly followers of Tea Party philosophy.... have you no ability to see beyond the thin veneer of "common sense conservativism" to the multi-national coporations and disgustingly wealthey backers?  Do you not see that labor unions are really out to help the working man.  Like, for real real help, not this "let's prevent all abortions, kill unions, lock and and flay the gays" help that the Republicans are offering right now while they are supposedly "focusing on jobs."

On a lighter note, a friend of ours is moving to France this year, so good for him and his ridiculously better vacation structure.  And I've always thought Spain would be a fun place to live...

Music Monday: Rock Is Dieing A Slow And Painful Death

After the Grammys aired, a friend mused that he thought that Rock music is dead. "Look at the nominees," he said, "almost all of them are ancient or near-dead themselves." So I looked at the nominees, and the winners, and I have come to a conclusion: he's right. Rock is a dieing art.

"But Dickie," you say, "Arcade Fire won Album of the Year. How can Rock be dead?" Fair point. We'll get to that in a minute.

Let's take a look at just the Rock and Metal categories. Out of those 7 categories, there were 35 nominations. Only 2 categories featured more than 1 nomination for an artist that has been around less than 10 years. The remaining nominations were for old acts. And yes, even groups like STP, one of my favorite bands, is an old act: they've been around nearly 20 years now. Swallow that pill, 30-somethings.

Pual McCartney, Jeff Beck, Iron Maiden, and Neil Young all won awards this year. So more than half the awards were handed out to artists that are well over 50 years-old, some over 60. For a music form that revolves on the credo of "Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll," I'm starting to wonder if they are referring more to Viagra than to rebellion.

And Neil Young… a man best known by today's generation as a line in that annoying Southern anthem Sweet Home Alabama. Yeah, it's the same Neil Young kids. He's that old.

Let's not get this message twisted. I am a Rock fan. Some of the newer artists that took home awards are in constant rotation on my iPhone, such as Arcade Fire and Muse. And I do love me some revived 90's rock. But without much fresh blood being pumped in to the system, can we honestly hope for a bright future for Rock?

I certainly hope so. But just as certainly I can't say that they are. If the old guard is really the best we have to offer, it stands to reason that Rock is being minimized to a niche market.

Groups like Kings of Leon, Muse and Arcade Fire bring me some hope that the future of Rock isn't completely dismal. And there are certainly a plethora of other lesser known and indie Rock acts that just haven't hit it big yet. But that fact confirms the niche status rather than deflecting it.

In any case, I'm still here. I'm still supporting new Rockers. Even if I'm in the minority for doing so. And it's not that I'm not appreciative of the old guard of Rock, but the energy and power of rock lies in the young and the powerless, not the old and jaded. Let's get some more of those hungry, angry, virile rockers out on the scene and shake things up a bit.

Is Rock dead? Not yet, but it is slowly getting there. And that scares me.

Air Force DADT Training Timeline And Issues Still To Come

I was passed this document (PDF) from the Air Force talking about their implementation plan for the repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell.

There are a couple interesting things to pick out of here. First, that all training is to be completed by June 2011. To me, this represents that the top brass of the Air Force fully expect the repeal to be certified soon, as training is to begin in April 2011. So that's good news for those of us skeptical of when the repeal would be certified.

Second is section 2, labeled Policy. This is pretty much what I figured would happen, but I was hoping for something more. Essentially, this section confirms that the Air Force plans on ONLY implementing the letter of the repeal, meaning that they will no longer discriminate based on sexual orientation when considering recruiting, promotion and kicking people out. However, they will not put in to place any other policies to even the playing field for LGB soldiers.

The housing policy will not change. The pay scale policies will not change. The medical benefits policies will not change. Even naming a partner/spouse as your benefactor or next of kin will still not be allowed, as the Federal Government does not recognize this. Essentially, they are stating that because of DOMA, they cannot implement any other changes.

And this is where I call bull shit. While I am fully aware that the armed forces are simply limited in what they can and cannot provide because of federal policies, I'm going to point to the State Departments recent revelations that they can, indeed, provide same-sex partner benefits and can provide for housing of same-sex partners to foreign-service employees. They are regulated by federal policy as well, yet they have found a way to make it work.

I knew this would be a problem. I knew that this repeal would be just the beginning. And I know that there will be many more discussions, legislative efforts, and lawsuits to come to iron out these policies to make them fair for every soldier.

But this does still benefit quite a few soldiers and potential recruits. I think it will mostly aid young LGB people considering a one-time enlistment in military service, possibly so they can take advantage of GI benefits. These young people may not yet be in a place where they are concerned about long-term relationships or partner benefits, etc. But if they get stop-lossed because we're still tied up in senseless wars, this could become a problem.

For anyone considering longer service, there are still many hurdles to overcome. They'll get no support when it comes time to move because they've been re-assigned to another base. They're spouse will receive no support while the soldier is deployed. It doesn't even look like the soldier's partner will get base privileges. It's not like soldiers are on the top of the pay scale, so trying to find private insurance for their significant others is going to be prohibitive. In short, life for LGB soldier's trying to make a career out of service will still not be easy.

But progress is progress. As anyone familiar with the military knows, everything is a process and change does not come quickly or easily to the armed service branches.

Music Monday: Eminem, Gaga, And Mushy Love

So the Grammy's happened last night. That would theoretically make a great topic to discuss for Music Monday. But I'm going to skip talking about the Grammy's in and of themselves because musical tastes are so subjective and because I honestly haven't listened to all the acts nominated in the various categories I care about, so talking about who I thought should have or shouldn't have won just doesn't make much sense.

Instead I want to talk about one particular artist that won an award last night, Eminem. I'll clear this up really quick for everyone so there's no confusion: I abhor Eminem. I find him to be vile in his actions and lyrics, I think his creativity is severely lacking, and I personally think he's talentless. Of course, my opinions of him are tainted. I've despised him as an artist since he hit the scene and I haven't seen any redeeming qualities in him. In short, I don't care for the guy.

While watching the tail end of the Grammy's last night (we missed the first 2/3 due to a dinner engagement), I heard the announcer state that Eminem had won two awards earlier in the evening. And I lost it! My distaste for him runs so deep that I can't even fathom who would find value in his music, and the idea that he would be rewarded for his antics infuriated me. I may have swore at the TV and I may have thrown a tiny bit of a hissy fit... Possibly.

At this point, my husband looked at me and said "Seriously, cut it out. We get it. You don't like him. Move on. You're starting to sound like Gaga Hater." To which I opened my mouth to rebut… but couldn't say anything, because my husband was absolutely correct.

Gaga Hater deserves a bit of explanation. Gaga Hater is someone we met at a party and then friended on Facebook. Late last week, Lady Gaga's new single Born This Way hit the intertubes, and although the reactions to it have been a bit all over the place, Gaga Hater's reaction was "OMG, this song is trash and you're all IDIOTS if you like it." I thought that was a bit extreme and husband and I joked about it and moved one.

So when my husband pointed out that I was acting exactly like Gaga Hater, I knew he was right and I knew I was being a jackass.

I don't have to like Eminem. In fact, it's likely I will never even get to being OK with Eminem. But I don't have to act like an imbecile because he has a career. Obviously, plenty other people disagree with my assessment of him as an artist. He's won several awards and he's been praised by critics that I respect. I don't like his art, but that doesn't mean his art is valueless.

What I do have to do is cross over from being a jerk about something that is ultimately inconsequential and become someone that can have a civil discussion about the merits of an artist's work. I don't find art that is focused on violence and misogynistic rhetoric is particularly valuable, and that's a point I can make in that discussion. However, I need to understand that others may not see things the way I do. And, most importantly, they don't have to.

So while I don't think I can ever truly "get" why someone would like Eminem, I don't think that anyone that does like him is an idiot.

It may be ironic, but it's because of Eminem and my hate for the guy that I'm in such a mushy, lovey spot right now. You see, it's these sort of lessons that I learn from my husband every day that make me love him more and more. He wants me to be the best person I can be, and it all comes from a place of love. Happy Valentine's Day, sweetheart! You continue to help me grow every single day

Music Monday: In Defense Of Christina

OK, so Christina messed up a line of the National Anthem.  She should have had that damn perfect, I’ll agree, but people make mistakes.  Look at the ENTIRE half time performance for more evidence of performers making mistakes.

BUT, I’m going to say that those people complaining that “she took too many liberties” with the song, I’m calling bull shit.

What those people are really trying to say is that they can’t stand listening to someone with real, actual talent sing anymore.  We’ve been so brainwashed by the auto-tuned crap being served to us (again, see the half time show) that we’ve forgotten that there are people that actually know how to use their voice to produce for reals music.

It’s OK though.  Black Eyed Pees continue to go mutli-platinum everytime they sneeze another generic piece of recycled trash on to the radio (they call it sampling, but whatevs), so I suppose that’s what people really want.  But just because the public doesn’t understand musicality anymore doesn’t mean that Christina gave a bad performance.  I’m just saying, public opinion isn’t always accurate, or for that matter, substantial.

I Work To Better Enjoy Life, Not The Other Way Around

I have quite a few thoughts rolling around in my head today. First, I apologize for missing yesterday's Theater Thursday post and I likely won't be posting my Gaming Geekery post today.  Although I have plenty to say on both topics the recent blizzard here in Chicago has really mixed things up for me.

The thought I'd like to discuss is this: I don't live to work. Quite the opposite, really. I enjoy what I do to make money, to an extent, but I do not enjoy it so much that it comes before any and all other concerns.

I realize I have a job that requires some responsibility and that I need to fulfill my obligations. I am fully aware of this. But I fundamentally disagree with some people about what, exactly, that means.

For those not aware, my husband was trapped in his car on Lake Shore Drive here in Chicago for over 12 hours Tuesday evening through Wednesday morning. This was while a Blizzard was raging through the area. Two feet of snow dropped in that time, freezing temperatures permeated the air, and wind gusts up to 70 mph roared off of the lake. And the only thing protecting him was his car, which was on a bridge right next to the lake.

To say that I was utterly terrified is an extreme understatement. My husband was trapped, the city wasn't helping him and there was nothing I could do to fix it. I was on the phone with him most of the evening and kept him up-to-date with any information I could find on the news or online.

I say all this to say that when he was finally able to get home at 6:30 am on Wednesday morning after being rescued from his car then trudging through the streets to get back to our house, all I wanted to do was spend time with him and cuddle him and make him warm and to make sure he was really, truly there with me. That he wasn't an apparition.

But there were others that did not see the importance of this. There were those that expected that I and everyone else who had been through any sort of terrifying incident the previous evening be up and ready to work in the morning. Which, to put it as easily as possible, is utter bull shit.

My life and my family and my friends are vastly more important to me than the rudimentary tasks of my position. Furthermore, there is nothing that need be accomplished RIGHT NOW that could not have waited until a more appropriate time, when all the personal affairs had been settled and life was able to resume at a mostly normal pace.

But like I said, there are those that fundamentally disagreed with me.

This is a bit of a rant, and perhaps a bit too personal to post out for the world to see, but I feel that it is important to note that I will never sacrifice personal obligations to fulfill work obligations. Work is designed to earn me the ability to enjoy a personal life, my personal life is not designed so I can line someone else's coffers.

Video Blog: Blizzards and Unions

I recorded this last night while waiting for my husband to get home.  He was stuck in the snow on Lake Shore Drive for 12 hours.  Luckily, he's home safe and sound now, but we have no idea where his car is.

But in the video, I muse and meander about civil unions here in Illinois. 

Illinois Likes Me Now... Kinda

Yesterday, our newly re-elected Governor in Illinois, Pat Quinn, signed into law the legal recognition of same-sex couples via Civil Unions here in the Land of Lincoln. I couldn't be there in person (pesky job asking that people be at work!), but I do get the wonderful benefit of now being marginally less second-class in this country!

When my husband and I were planning our wedding last year, we had a lot of people ask why not just go to Iowa and get married. Their supreme court had legalized same-sex marriage not too long ago, and Iowa is only a couple hours drive from here, so that would seem like the logical thing to do. But we chose to go to Vancouver instead, which is no where near as easy to get to.

The biggest reason we went with a Canadian destination wedding (aside from Bride magazine telling us destination weddings were all the rage last year, obvy) was that we wanted to make sure that the laws would not change wherever we got married. We saw what happened in California and saw the confusion that exists there with some couples being married, some being in civil unions, others wrapped up in lawsuits, and we knew that could easily happen if we went somewhere else in the states.

And we weren't wrong. Right now, some Iowans are pushing hard to create an amendment to their state constitution to bar marriage equality, which is the only option the haters have left to over-turn the high court's ruling. Haters gotta hate, I suppose.

So we went to Canada. The laws aren't going to change up there. Even if the U.S. decides that only marriages between two straight, Christian, child-rearing folk will be recognized here, we know that we are still legally married somewhere. And if we go somewhere that does support LGBT folk as fully-recognized human beings, that marriage will be recognized there as well.

I'm glad to see civil unions come to Illinois. We've still got a ways to go toward real equality, but with this we've taken another step. And, from a personal perspective, I'm very happy that I will now be legally recognized here in this state as my husband's husband. I still have a few questions I need to get answered from a legal stand point (what, if anything, do we need to do?), but this FAQ (PDF) that Equality Illinois put together is really great if anyone else out there needs some more information.