Dear Ann Barnett: You're Pathetic

One of the most ridiculous pieces of drama to come out of the California Marriage decision has to be Auditor/Controller/County Clerk for Kern County, CA, Ann Barnett's decision to protest Gay Marriage by simply not performing any marriages in the county... at all.  Which is awesome. 

If there is any single one way to prove your undieing devotion to the sanctity of marriage, not marrying people has to be it.  I mean, if you don't want a small group of people to have equal and legal protections under the law, all you need to do is deny the right to marriage to the 85% of the population that has been enjoying these rights and benefits, and viola!  What will happen is the heteros will hate those damned uppity queers for this (because, obviously, it's the gay peoples fault that this is happening), and everything will go back to the Theocratic ways that this country was founded on.

Or not...

No, what will actually happened, Miss Idiotic-McPathetic Barnett, is that everyone will realize how much of a mistake it was to elect you.  They will boot you out of office, because regardless of the someone's stance on Gay Marriage, the straight people still want to be married.  It also further serves to confirm the absolute idiocy of the Christian Right's position on this issue.  So please, by all means, break the newly created State Laws.  I hope you do.  I can't wait to watch your effigy on the news, you waste of human office space.

And for more evidence that this woman is a waste of ballots, check out this story from a local news station wherein they are almost forced out of a public building and denied access to their elected officials whom are responsible to the public... because they are FRAKIN PUBLIC OFFICIALS!

McGreevy's Make Me Happy, Divorce Is A Riot!

Oh, the beautiful drama of the McGreevy family divorce case. It's like a microscope on a high school break-up for all the world to see. I mean, the man and his wife have been acting like kids in a fight over who's turn it is to play Nintendo! In the latest piece of the absurd fun, the former couple have been arguing over the possibility of alimony. While Jim has professed that he will not seek any high profile jobs, or even high pressure gigs (and thus lower paying careers), his soon-to-be-former wife has claimed that Jim should be making TONS of money exploiting his fall from political grace as the next Jerry Springer or as a Hollywood Mogul... because shame and embarrassment automatically lead to TV Show and Movie deals... fuck, if that were the case, I'd be sitting next to Bill Gates on my very own continent right now...

So, I've decided to provide some advice to the couple (although, honestly, I kind hope they never read this because their drama is just too much fun)....

Dear Jim: Shut up. Seriously, just shut up. It's obvious Dina Matos is going to try to bleed you dry for everything you have, but the last thing you want to do is say you're not ever going to do a movie deal (I mean, c'mon, that's bank and a built-in good story. No "dramatic edits" in this one), then a year later you sign a LOGO exclusive movie deal and get dragged back to court on a new fraud accusation. You've already cashed in on one book deal, is it too hard to imagine another cash in? Just own up to it and move on, because the longer this case drags on and stories about wild threesomes you and your wife may or may not have had emerge, life will just get worse.

Dear Dina Matos: Um... well, I don't have much to say to you other than calling you a merciless vixen hungry for the blood of a man you think has fallen down and given up. "He married me knowing he was gay, so he should pay!" Give me a break, you knew he was too, and used him just in kind to get the royal treatment. And you want money from what he could potentially have made or will make? ... I knew there was a reason we love you! Besides, if you're really concerned about Jim cashing in on a media deal about the scandal, why don't you do it yourself? Oh wait, you already have...