Illinois Likes Me Now... Kinda

Yesterday, our newly re-elected Governor in Illinois, Pat Quinn, signed into law the legal recognition of same-sex couples via Civil Unions here in the Land of Lincoln. I couldn't be there in person (pesky job asking that people be at work!), but I do get the wonderful benefit of now being marginally less second-class in this country!

When my husband and I were planning our wedding last year, we had a lot of people ask why not just go to Iowa and get married. Their supreme court had legalized same-sex marriage not too long ago, and Iowa is only a couple hours drive from here, so that would seem like the logical thing to do. But we chose to go to Vancouver instead, which is no where near as easy to get to.

The biggest reason we went with a Canadian destination wedding (aside from Bride magazine telling us destination weddings were all the rage last year, obvy) was that we wanted to make sure that the laws would not change wherever we got married. We saw what happened in California and saw the confusion that exists there with some couples being married, some being in civil unions, others wrapped up in lawsuits, and we knew that could easily happen if we went somewhere else in the states.

And we weren't wrong. Right now, some Iowans are pushing hard to create an amendment to their state constitution to bar marriage equality, which is the only option the haters have left to over-turn the high court's ruling. Haters gotta hate, I suppose.

So we went to Canada. The laws aren't going to change up there. Even if the U.S. decides that only marriages between two straight, Christian, child-rearing folk will be recognized here, we know that we are still legally married somewhere. And if we go somewhere that does support LGBT folk as fully-recognized human beings, that marriage will be recognized there as well.

I'm glad to see civil unions come to Illinois. We've still got a ways to go toward real equality, but with this we've taken another step. And, from a personal perspective, I'm very happy that I will now be legally recognized here in this state as my husband's husband. I still have a few questions I need to get answered from a legal stand point (what, if anything, do we need to do?), but this FAQ (PDF) that Equality Illinois put together is really great if anyone else out there needs some more information.

Indiana Newspaper Prints Marriage Announcement

Here's a fun one kids. A couple in Iowa is getting married. One member of that couple asks their hometown newspaper to print an engagement announcement. The paper complies. No body cares because no one ever reads those damn things anymore. The end.

Oh, I should mention that both of the people in this story are men. And that their hometown paper is in Indiana. Still, that should be The End. But, of course, it's not. Because it has something to do with "the gays" and when they get mentioned anywhere, people feel the need to get all up in arms about someone else's business that has absolutely nothing to do with them.

Sooo, Christian Scarebears start this ass-crazy campaign of whining to the editor and calling the paper saying that the news paper (get this) is breaking the law because same-sex marriage is illegal in Indiana. The paper is obviously over stepping their bounds by stating that some queer couple is getting married! And apparently these complainers have nothing better to do with their time than read the wedding announcements in small-town newspapers for states and areas they don't even live in…

Let's clarify a few things here. Same-sex marriage is not illegal anywhere in this country. If it were, gay couples that held marriage ceremonies in states like Indiana (which happens all the time) would be arrested and charged with a crime along with the clergy or whomever performed said ceremony. That doesn't happen (thankfully). Rather, marriage rights are not recognized by the state, so couples can marry to their heart's content, but the state doesn't officially acknowledge that marriage.

Why is that difference important? Because saying things like "gay marriage is illegal" is just another tool that the Scarebears are trying to use to frame LGBT folk as evil, villainous pricks out to destroy the world. I think this is just the Christianist set projecting themselves onto someone else, but that's probably a little too Freudian for that crowd to understand.

If you feel so inclined, send a letter to the editor of this newspaper and let them know that you support their decision to publish the story. Lord knows (at the least Christian Fundamentalists think he does) that the editor is getting a crap ton of email from idiot bigots right now.

Why Does Illinois Still Fall Behind?

Can someone please explain to me how in the hell Iowa can afford marriage rights to all of it's citizens and now Wisconsin can give LGBT folk a proverbial bone with Domestic Partnership rights, yet Illinois, home of Chicago, bastion of liberalness in the Midwest, remains on the side of bigotry by denying its citizens the right to marriage?

Please, can someone just take five minutes to explain that to me? Because I don't think anyone has a damn clue how inept Illinois politicians can be concerning gay rights. I don't think anyone would have guessed that our "ultra liberal" state could find a way to sweep us queers under the rug and get away with it.

Personally, I'm pretty well focused on why our federal government stills seems to think it's ok to hate on the gays, but that doesn't mean that our states can't work out internal issues in the mean time. With the advances on the federal Proposition 8 challenge coming down the wire today, it seems likely that we'll be hearing more about that sooner rather than later, but again, why can't my damned legislature pass equality measures in this state?

Damned politicians and their utter laziness… I swear, if I did double the amount of work those asshats did in a day, I'd be fired for not getting enough done...

It's OK For Me, Not For You

Iowa is the new bastion of progressive thought? Really? Sweet! I like having neighbors that are welcoming and accepting of me… now if I could only get my home state to stop pussyfooting around and approve equal rights….

The gayterwebs (coined it!) are abuzz over the past few days over Obama's lackluster response to the Iowa Supreme Court decision. Before I tear into it dissect it, here's the snippet that has many of us LGBT folk up in arms:

"The President respects the decision of the Iowa Supreme Court, and continues to believe that states should make their own decisions when it comes to the issue of marriage. Although President Obama supports civil unions rather than same-sex marriage, he believes that committed gay and lesbian couples should receive equal rights under the law."

Straight from the horses mouth there kids. Or the horses website, at least.

So he supports "equal rights" at the same time as supporting un-equal and second-class-status-granting Civil Unions? My brain hurts just thinking about this dissonance, I can't imagine what it must be like to actually believe this bull shit! How is it possible to support equal rights at the same time support "separate-but-kinda-not-equal" rights in Civil Unions?

Nurse: I'm sorry sir, only family are allowed to visit right now
Civilly Unioned "Partner": Oh, that's my legally defined partner, although not exactly the same as my Husband, but close enough
Nurse: Wait… so is that you're legal Husband?
CUP: Well, sort of, but not really. Technically, we're suppose to have the same rights as married couples, but someone in the political atmosphere decided that he needed to segregate us further from our peers by not allowing us to be treated equally
Nurse: I'm confused then… are you family or not?
CUP: See, it's a complicated issue…

And on and on and on…. It's an inane difference that will only serve to muddy up the idea of marriage and confuse the public. Yesterday, Jim Douglas, Governor of Vermont, said the reason he vetoed the marriage equality bill passed by the Vermont House and Senate was that he sees no difference between marriage and civil unions. Great! So why arbitrarily separate the two then? If there is really no difference between Marriage and Civil Unions, why should the different terminology exist?

Is it because people like Jim Douglas and Barack Obama see us LGBT folk as different than them? Is it because they do not feel that our relationships are as valid as theirs? Is it because they don't really respect me and my family? The answer, in case you were wondering, is Yes to all the above.

The real litmus test here, kittens, is would Jim Douglas or Barack Obama change their Marriages to Civil Unions? Would they start referring to their wives as legally binded partner? Would they want to have that discussion with a hospital worker who is ignorant of the differences? I doubt it. And if it's not good enough for them, why the fuck should I accept that it's good enough for me?

Gay Military Men Marrying In Iowa

Marriage Equality Prevails In... Wait, Iowa?

To sum it up, the Iowa Supreme Court announced today in an Unanimous Decision that marriage between same-sex couples must be allowed, as illegally discriminating against LGBT folk in this arena violates their state Constitutional rights to Equal Treatment and Protection. One more time, the Iowa Supreme Court (that's the heart of the Midwest, kittens) has said, without one dissenting voice, that LGBT persons must be given equal rights.

That's another one down!

As I write this, straight couples all across the state are falling apart and families are beginning to disintegrate into Oblivion. Men all across the state who have previously thought themselves heterosexual are suddenly realizing that they have no other option than to run to the nearest bathhouse and enjoy the pleasure of other men, leaving their former wives with only the comforting arms of other ex-wives… which obviously leads to lesbian trysts. Teachers in every school in the state have stopped talking about their given subjects to give graphic descriptions of how two men copulate, and children have lost their ability to understand right from wrong, slaying everything in their path and stopping only to talk to the newfound horde of vans parked in front of the schools packed full of villainous men with lollipops. Even worse, within minutes of the announcement, every church in the state was slammed with anti-defamation suits and forced to close their doors.

Oh wait… That isn't happening?

Hmmm… Well, I suppose those preachers/fuckheads that spent all their time and energy telling people that would happen were… wrong? No, that can't be! Religious figureheads can't possibly be wrong when it comes to social ills! What's next, a President that willfully lies to the public and commits heinous war crimes, all the while being let off the hook by his opposing party?! What kind of bularkey is that?!