Music Monday: Eminem, Gaga, And Mushy Love

So the Grammy's happened last night. That would theoretically make a great topic to discuss for Music Monday. But I'm going to skip talking about the Grammy's in and of themselves because musical tastes are so subjective and because I honestly haven't listened to all the acts nominated in the various categories I care about, so talking about who I thought should have or shouldn't have won just doesn't make much sense.

Instead I want to talk about one particular artist that won an award last night, Eminem. I'll clear this up really quick for everyone so there's no confusion: I abhor Eminem. I find him to be vile in his actions and lyrics, I think his creativity is severely lacking, and I personally think he's talentless. Of course, my opinions of him are tainted. I've despised him as an artist since he hit the scene and I haven't seen any redeeming qualities in him. In short, I don't care for the guy.

While watching the tail end of the Grammy's last night (we missed the first 2/3 due to a dinner engagement), I heard the announcer state that Eminem had won two awards earlier in the evening. And I lost it! My distaste for him runs so deep that I can't even fathom who would find value in his music, and the idea that he would be rewarded for his antics infuriated me. I may have swore at the TV and I may have thrown a tiny bit of a hissy fit... Possibly.

At this point, my husband looked at me and said "Seriously, cut it out. We get it. You don't like him. Move on. You're starting to sound like Gaga Hater." To which I opened my mouth to rebut… but couldn't say anything, because my husband was absolutely correct.

Gaga Hater deserves a bit of explanation. Gaga Hater is someone we met at a party and then friended on Facebook. Late last week, Lady Gaga's new single Born This Way hit the intertubes, and although the reactions to it have been a bit all over the place, Gaga Hater's reaction was "OMG, this song is trash and you're all IDIOTS if you like it." I thought that was a bit extreme and husband and I joked about it and moved one.

So when my husband pointed out that I was acting exactly like Gaga Hater, I knew he was right and I knew I was being a jackass.

I don't have to like Eminem. In fact, it's likely I will never even get to being OK with Eminem. But I don't have to act like an imbecile because he has a career. Obviously, plenty other people disagree with my assessment of him as an artist. He's won several awards and he's been praised by critics that I respect. I don't like his art, but that doesn't mean his art is valueless.

What I do have to do is cross over from being a jerk about something that is ultimately inconsequential and become someone that can have a civil discussion about the merits of an artist's work. I don't find art that is focused on violence and misogynistic rhetoric is particularly valuable, and that's a point I can make in that discussion. However, I need to understand that others may not see things the way I do. And, most importantly, they don't have to.

So while I don't think I can ever truly "get" why someone would like Eminem, I don't think that anyone that does like him is an idiot.

It may be ironic, but it's because of Eminem and my hate for the guy that I'm in such a mushy, lovey spot right now. You see, it's these sort of lessons that I learn from my husband every day that make me love him more and more. He wants me to be the best person I can be, and it all comes from a place of love. Happy Valentine's Day, sweetheart! You continue to help me grow every single day

Pssst - I've Got A Not-So-Secret!

I realized today that I have not yet posted here about the most important thing to that happened on our vacation: they boyfriend and I are engaged!

That's right, my loveable EVR (there's some link love, love ;) Make sure and visit his blog and encourage him on, he needs some nudging to post more often) and I will be getting married. Of course, Illinois failed to act upon it's Civil Unions bill last session, but that doesn't mean it won't have enacted something come time for us to officially tie the knot. While the legal rights and protections will be very nice, we're really excited to be able to declare our love and intention to spend our lives together.

So how did it all go down? Our last night at the resort, I asked him if he'd like to take a stroll on the beach at night. Well, I more or less told him that we were going for a walk, but that's just a tiny detail ;) After dinner, we made our way down to the white sand and started wandering to the sound of the soft waves. There was only one large flood light keeping the beach lit, which just so happened to shut off as we came to a stop on the beach, which provided us an excellent chance to gaze up at the stars and see the skies like we never can anywhere near Chicago. Just then, I came up behind my bear and asked if he could see himself spending his life with me, to which he said yes. Then I pulled out the ring and asked if he would spend his life with me.

He turned around and smiled and say emphatically yes. And for the first time in our relationship, he was speechless ;)

No, we haven't locked things down on dates, etc., yet, but we are think that our regular anniversary would be a nice date, and it would be a nice Summer day. Having something here in Chicago is pretty well established as well. As for what, we're still working on it. Given that our state provides no legal protections for our relationship, and given that neither of us are religious folk, a semi-traditional wedding doesn't seem to be right for us. We are considering legally consummating our marriage in one of the states that does afford legal rights, but that would be something for just the two of us. However, we definitely do want a celebration here in our home city. But there's still time to figure that all out.

He'll be getting me an engagement ring as well. I considered getting one for myself when I got his, but I picked a ring for him that I thought was very "me" for him to wear, and I'd like him to pick a ring that's very "him" for me to wear. I can't wait.

In short, I'm one happy homo!