I Work To Better Enjoy Life, Not The Other Way Around

I have quite a few thoughts rolling around in my head today. First, I apologize for missing yesterday's Theater Thursday post and I likely won't be posting my Gaming Geekery post today.  Although I have plenty to say on both topics the recent blizzard here in Chicago has really mixed things up for me.

The thought I'd like to discuss is this: I don't live to work. Quite the opposite, really. I enjoy what I do to make money, to an extent, but I do not enjoy it so much that it comes before any and all other concerns.

I realize I have a job that requires some responsibility and that I need to fulfill my obligations. I am fully aware of this. But I fundamentally disagree with some people about what, exactly, that means.

For those not aware, my husband was trapped in his car on Lake Shore Drive here in Chicago for over 12 hours Tuesday evening through Wednesday morning. This was while a Blizzard was raging through the area. Two feet of snow dropped in that time, freezing temperatures permeated the air, and wind gusts up to 70 mph roared off of the lake. And the only thing protecting him was his car, which was on a bridge right next to the lake.

To say that I was utterly terrified is an extreme understatement. My husband was trapped, the city wasn't helping him and there was nothing I could do to fix it. I was on the phone with him most of the evening and kept him up-to-date with any information I could find on the news or online.

I say all this to say that when he was finally able to get home at 6:30 am on Wednesday morning after being rescued from his car then trudging through the streets to get back to our house, all I wanted to do was spend time with him and cuddle him and make him warm and to make sure he was really, truly there with me. That he wasn't an apparition.

But there were others that did not see the importance of this. There were those that expected that I and everyone else who had been through any sort of terrifying incident the previous evening be up and ready to work in the morning. Which, to put it as easily as possible, is utter bull shit.

My life and my family and my friends are vastly more important to me than the rudimentary tasks of my position. Furthermore, there is nothing that need be accomplished RIGHT NOW that could not have waited until a more appropriate time, when all the personal affairs had been settled and life was able to resume at a mostly normal pace.

But like I said, there are those that fundamentally disagreed with me.

This is a bit of a rant, and perhaps a bit too personal to post out for the world to see, but I feel that it is important to note that I will never sacrifice personal obligations to fulfill work obligations. Work is designed to earn me the ability to enjoy a personal life, my personal life is not designed so I can line someone else's coffers.

Great Cars-A-Fire

Chicago is an interesting city. We have some history in this city, as any city does that is this old and this large, and we have a particularly interesting history with fire. This city and fire are not besties.

So it was this morning that I woke up to thick smoke billowing past my 16th floor window. Being that we live in a high rise and there are other high rises around us, and understanding the history of fire in this city and that multiple buildings burn down every year, I ran to the window with half a shoe on to see what was going on.

It was pretty obvious what was going on once I got to the window. Here's the scene: man on cell phone screaming and pacing, taxi cab up in flames. Not just smoking, completely engulfed in flames. The entire cabin of the car had flames flicking in all directions. And in typical Chicago fashion, other cars just sped on by as if nothing was happening.

Now, I've seen an action movie or two, so I knew that at any moment that thing could blow up. Luckily, I could hear the fire trucks wailing down the road, but I still didn't want to go downstairs just in case something bad happened. I woke the boyfriend up to let him know what was going on because the wretched smell was already leaking through our vents, then watched as the fire fighters put out the flames. They were able to get the flames under control pretty quickly and with no explosion to boot, but there's not mistaking that car was done.

What I loved about this whole scene is that in this town, people simply cannot be bother with these kind of inconveniences. Cars were honking and blaring their horns, apparently hoping that the sound would help put out the flames faster. People strolled by with children and pets as if nothing was going on. To this city, it was just another day, another nuisance preventing them from getting where they want to be when they want to be there.

That was my morning, another shining example of Chicago living.

Fight For Your Own Money, Please

Yesterday, I spent the evening watching talking heads speak about Tea Bagging. I watched Rachel Maddow giggle with glee as she marveled at the protestors ignorance of the colloquial meaning of Tea Bagging. I listened as Keith Olberman derided the Tea Baggers as puppets of the grand corporate marketing scheme. I even witnessed Anderson Cooper admit to not being able to effectively talk while being Tea Bagged. And it was all good stuff.

But with all the Liberal pundits spouting off about the hilarious double entendre of Tea Bagging, I had to stop and wonder exactly what they were protesting. Just like every protest, some random, non-related people showed up to join in the protesting fun. Racists freaks, anti-Government bums, Christian "Rights" groups, and even pro-war protesters (whatever the fuck that means) showed up to join in the fun. I swear, it's like a gay rights march in reverse. The problem I had though is that the talking heads tended to focus on those fringe characters to deride the protestors as Crazy or Insane when the fringe participants were hardly representatives of the majority there. They weren't shunned in most cases, mind you, but I hardly think one man carrying a racist, anti-Obama poster counts as the totality of the message the larger group was trying to convey.

I'm willing to set aside a few of the fallacies of this "grass-roots" movement to examine the concept. Sure, it wasn't a grass roots movement, it was backed by and supported by corporate lobbyist firms. And sure, many of the protestors were protesting Obama's bailout package… even though they supported Bush's less-stringent version just a few months ago. Putting that all aside, do these people have a point? Will the raising of taxes on the wealthiest Americans (which, by the by, would not affect the overwhelmingly vast majority of the protestors in the least) really do anything to save our country? And will these bailout packages make a difference?

In my opinion… well, I have no idea if the bailouts will save us. Finance is not my area, and it's obviously not the area of most of the talking heads on TV. Most of the experts seem to think they will help, but I've grown weary of partisan experts anyway, so it's hard to say. What I can say is that if you get a chance to watch last night's Daily Show, you should probably do so, as their guest did a great job at explaining why the past 10 years of deregulation have led us to this point, and how re-regulating industries rife with greed can only benefit us all. If we need to bail out all the financial institutions in this country in order to reign in their practices, than so be it.

What else I know is that I'm still amazed at how easily poor and middle class Americans can be manipulated to fighting for rich people. I did not hear of many wealthy people showing up at these Tea Parties, the people that are actually affected by Obama's tax increases. Instead I saw tons of middle-class white people crying. Why? I still have no idea. Just like yesterday's post about the fight for Marriage, I am baffled at why middle-class people that will NEVER be in that top 1% of the wealth curve insist on fighting for rich people's right to have, keep and make more money than them. It's as if they are still disillusioned into believing they'll be there some day, if only they buy enough lottery tickets…

I just don't understand is all. We've got A LOT to fight for in our lives, and these people choose to fight over some one else's money. Let the rich people complain about their money themselves! Stop fighting about what isn't yours in the first place and get back to working on things that will actually affect your quality of life.

The Brides Of Boystown

A friend of mine (holla Teresa!) asked me my thoughts about the recent shit storm that's being caused by some bars in Boystown outright banning bachelorette parties. I've been sitting on this idea for a few days because I wanted to gather my thoughts on the issue wholly before I responded.

First, let me state up front that this is really not a new issue. Personally, I'm baffled as to why this is becoming a big "to do" again. This policy has been in place at the few bars in Boystown that have it for years now, at least as long as I've lived here. I suppose the right bride-to-be was denied access to the go-go boys at Cocktails and threw a fit. Whatever the reason, it's a good topic to discuss.

Second, it should be noted that not all bars in B-Town ban these parties. In fact, only a handful do. Personally, I can only think of two: Charlie's and Cocktails. Apparently Sidetrack has a quasi-policy, but they don't hold to it well because I've had several Bachelorette parties nearly ruin my night out there. The article that started this most recent round of debate makes it sound as if every bar in Boystown is Straight Hostile, which is far from the truth. Several of the bars welcome the girls nights… I can't speak for why, but they do. Money, I suppose.

With those two things discussed, we're off the magical land of Dickie's opinion. Should we ban Bachelorette parties from gay bars until equal marriage rights are enjoyed by the LGBT community? Yes. And no.

As just about any gay man that's been to Boystown in the summer can tell you, girl parties are pretty popular there. Not just Bachelorette parties, but "girls night out"s as well. For the most part, the Girls Night Out's don't bother anyone. They get a little tipsy, maybe flirt with a gay guy or two, possibly even make new friends, and probably start questioning why they even bother with straight clubs. I mean, the music at straight bars always sucks, and the guys tend to be a roving band a testosterone laden, chest-pounding apes. OK, that was a bit judgmental… just a bit though.

However, Bachelorette parties are a totally different beast. Women often like to believe, or at least perpetuate the belief, that their B-parties are casual, light affairs with nothing big or exciting happening. And while some (or most, who knows?) are, the ones I see on a regular basis are far from that. Every weekend night in B-town, it's easy to spot at least one (usually more) party busses or trollie roving up and down N. Halsted St. packed full of less than sober women screaming and yelling and tossing giant blow-up penises into the herd of gay boys strolling the street. Every single weekend night. That is not an exaggeration.

To top that, they then proceed to stumble into one of the bars along the strip. Typically, they try to force their way into Sidetrack (which is already standing-on-top-of-each-other room only), Roscoe's (who doesn't love a dance floor… oh wait, that fire took care of that), or Circuit (drag queens sure are funny, aren't they?). When they do make their way into a bar, they have an enormous sense of entitlement about them, as if every gay man should make room for the soon to be deflowered woman and her friends so they can get drinks. Or, for even more fun, they try to pull in whatever helpless 'mo that happens to be standing around into their roving band of drunkenness. In the end, what they do is cause a stir, one that is usually not met with happy homos bursting into song and dance, like we do in the movies, and that stir causes many gay patrons (you know, the ones that want to actually buy drinks and don't mind tipping…) to up and leave.

From my tone, you can tell I'm not the biggest fan of the processionals. Here's why: without fail, when you ask the drunk chicks what they think about marriage equality, they have to pause and think about it. What is there to think about? When they remember they are surrounded by Queens, they all say "absolutely!" or "You know, I didn't use to, but I do now!" Which, of course, means that given the anonymity of a voting booth, they'd shoot down out rights just for shigiggles.

Many of these parties come to Boystown because they think we're a petting zoo. "Oh, look, it's a Gay! Can I touch him? Aaawwww, he's soooo cute! I wonder is Bobby will let me keep him…" That's how we're made to feel, as if we're the weird ones in our own homes. They don't come to B-town to party with us, they come and want us to party for them. They come and expect us to join in their celebration when they can't even take 10 minutes out of their day to learn about gay culture and what it is like to be in a gay bar, and then gawk at us when we make out with our boyfriend or point and laugh at the "Tranny" strolling down the street. They are plain out rude and unkind.

So it would stand to reason that I would be all for the ban then. But I'm not. I don't think we should ban anyone from our establishments unless they are outright hostile toward us, of course. "But Dickie," you say, "You just went on and on about how much you hate these friggin' bachelorette parties! Why wouldn't you want to ban them from the gay bars?!" Well, because I wouldn't want to be banned from their bars.

You see, discrimination is a two-way street. Just because I'm a minority that has traditionally been oppressed by the heterosexist majority, and in particular the marriage equality issue is very sensitive to our community right now, does not mean we should return the favor. At least not officially.

Do you want to stop these parties from invading our bars, like I do? STOP PARTYING WITH THEM! Don't make them feel welcome. We shouldn't bar them outright, be we can certainly, as a community, make them feel like they are the scum of the earth for rubbing their privileged status in our faces. Don't buy them drinks. Don't move out of the way. Don’t wave in glee as the honk at you on the street. Don't engage in jovial, stereotyped conversations about "OMG, you look sooo pretty!" What should you do? Challenge them. Ask them what the last thing they did to support equal marriage rights was. Tell them, in no uncertain terms, that we are not to be enjoyed like puppies for the evening then tossed aside when they want to go back to their "normal" lives.

You know what else we can do? Make them pay. Literally, with cash. This happens all the time a hetero clubs. A group of guys and girls show up, the women are let in free and the men are charged $40 a head. It's sexist and it's wrong, but it's time to turn the table. We gay boys can get in free, and our Fairy Princesses are welcome as well (they know how to behave), but if you want to be a rowdy gaggle of drunkenness causing all sorts of problems in our bars, then you need to pay for that privilege. You are more than welcome to do so, but please be prepared to shell out $20 a head for your party of 25 girls. Oh, and if you start causing issues, you'll be sent packing. Learn to play nice or go back to Wrigleyville.

When my boyfriend and I go to straight bars, we don't stop being gay. We are still affectionate and continue with our business as usual, but we also don't go to the DJ and ask for Madonna all night long. We don't strip to our skivvies and get on the bar top and dance. We don't expect them to roll our the pride flag, and we certainly don't point and gawk at all "the breeders." We are ourselves, but we respect that we are in someone else's territory. But you better god damn believe that if some asinine doorman tried to keep us out of a club because we're queer there would be all sort of hell to pay. If we don't feel comfortable or welcome, we leave. It sucks, but its a fact of life.

The bottom line is that, although these bars are probably in the wrong for out right banning Bachelorette parties, these girl parties should really consider their behavior and their surroundings before they set out for the evening. Bars like Kit Kat Club are more than happy to host Bachelorette parties and they are perfectly satisfied being your petting zoo. If the parties can't behave appropriately, then they should probably consider other plans.

CTA Is Fail

One of my favorite things about living in Chicago is the public transportation, and now one of my maost hated things about living in Chicago is also the public tansit system. The Chicago Transit Authority (CTA) is a pompous monstrosity that is, simply put, a giant fail on the concept of free market/government subsidized model.

The CTA operates on no rules. None. They have schedules that are suppose to follow, but they simply pick and choose when they want to do so. On mornings when there is a -10 degree windchill, the CTA decides that it will run multiple express trains so as to maximize the potential frost bite of those stranded on platforms. Employees laugh heartily when you ask for help, then outright accuse you of lieing when you question the system. Customer Service Reps attempt to charge you when their cards and systems fade and stop working.

CTA is broke. Not in the financial sense, although they like to pretend to be every now and then to get some more money from local governments. They are broke as a service organization. Many stations are decrepit with no hope of being fixed. Buses plug along while drivers are fully aware of how poorly they have been maintained. Employees either are not trained on how to service customers or simply don't car, most likely both. There is nothing productive about what they do.

This all boils down to the pathetic nature of its structure. It's part private, part public with none of the benefits of either. If it were completely private, there would be some tangible chain for consumers to file complaints and actual punishments laid out to inept employees. If it were purely a govenment run system, we could follow proven political tactics to force change. But it's neither, and both. And it fails in all aspects.

I'd love to have the Olympics here, but the CTA would be central to that effort and they are simply horrific and would be an utter embarassment to this city.

Adoption Rant

I'm just the tiniest bit over the "faith-based" communities arguing that LGBT rights legislation should not be enacted because the organizations would then be forced to do things that go against their beliefs. Correction: I'm way over it.

We as people will never, ever always agree with the law. However, the law is there to protect the people, not grant certain groups the ability to legally discriminate. There are "faith-based" organizations that complain that gay rights legislation would force them to aid gay couples to adopt. And they are right, most legislation would do just that. Why? Because these organizations receive state funding, and under state regulations, you can not use your chosen religious beliefs to deny others services and rights.

If those organizations would prefer not to work with "the gays," then I'm sure the nation would gladly accept their funding back to help pay off the debt Bush has accrued financing religious fundamentalism here in the States and abroad.

Yes, rights laws would mean that legalized discrimination would be a thing of the past. It would mean that hundreds, if not thousands, of children would have a safe, warm and loving place to sleep every night and adults to actually love them and care for them instead of paid workers that just want their shift to be over. It would mean that the world would be just a bit of a better place, and more human beings would be offered chances they would not have otherwise.

As much as marriage rights mean to me, I have to say that I believe adoption rights are at least on par with them. There are simply too many children without healthy, happy homes. I would like for every one of the supposed Christian adoption agencies to turn to the children they are suppose to help, look them in the eye and tell that child they will go yet another night without the safety of a home and without the love of a family because the Christians have decided that a particular couple is unworthy just because they are gay.

The difference between marriage and adoption rights comes down to the difference between my happiness and a child's happiness. I can suffer and I'll be OK, but I'll be damned if I watch another child suffer because of someone else's bigotry.

Inspiration

You Should Be Worried

Over the past few days, many of the proponents of Proposition 8 in California and similar measures in other states of the country have come out to complain and whine that the LGBT community is being uppity, crying babies over the whole deal. After all, they won fair and square, right? We should just lay back and let it happen!Well, here's the deal. You took rights away from people. Period. Doesn't matter if people voted for it or not. They were my rights, and you took them. So congratulations, you now have to deal with the consequences. If you are unfamiliar with what the concept of consequences are, please take a moment to reference that quaint book you like to carry around, particularly the first half of it. There are some pretty fantastic examples of consequences there for you. Now it's out turn.

We will continue to PEACEFULLY PROTEST until our rights are given to us. Unfortunately, many times the People don't do the "right thing," and the only way to get the People's attention is to be loud and be heard. Also understand that your absolutely pathetic attempts to quiet us through belittling our movement will go unanswered. We are not your subservient lap dogs. You tell us to be quiet and we will only scream louder.

We will also continue to protest and boycott ANY establishment that supports your special blend and hate. It's not terrorism, it's not bullying, it's simple capitalism. If a particular theater company employee a gentleman that donated to the Yes on 8 campaign and the gay community chooses not to attend said theater any longer, and in response to being made aware of the situation the Board of that theater company fires the employee, then it's not really much of my concern. That is a consequence. I didn't want the dude fired. I wanted the right to marriage. Same for Home Depot and Century Theaters. We will not support them, and they will feel the pinch and change their attitudes or remove the people causing the problem. Furthermore, your insinuations that we should add coals to the fire that's roasting us is just plain ridiculous. Keep that in mind the next time you declare a boycott on an organization simply because they decide to offer something similar to the benefits you and your opposite sex partner get.

At the root of this is that WE are not the problem. WE are acting in reaction to YOUR hatred. That hatred is the problem. We have every single right to fight in every legal way, and there is not a Damned thing you can do about it. And yes, you should be scared, because our money goes far and wide. When we don't spend, you will feel the pinch. Be prepared for the consequences you've brought upon yourself or don't take the action at all. It's too late for the latter, so have fun with the flow of consequences coming your way now.

Inspiration Inspiration Inspiration