Is It Us, Or Him?

A lot has been said in the last few months about President Obama's dedication, or lack thereof, to the LGBT community. I've chimed in on it, others have spoken on it. There's been no lack of screaming on our part for action NOW. Lately, there's been some push back on the issue. Not that we should be waiting in line, but more so that we are just impatient, and on the extreme end, the gay community is being called racist.

I've take some time to think about the accusations. Sometimes when you are enraged at someone else, it's hard to see your own faults, so I thought there could be some credence to these accusations. Is the gay community racist, which has as it's core leadership a whole slew of white people? Are we just being impatient children? Do we even have a valid reason to be screaming for so much so quickly?

When I look at the racist claims, I think there's something that definitely needs to be said on that front. It's true that there is an unseemly divide between the white gay community and the black gay community. Most of it has to do with sense of identity, where many white men that exclusively (or almost exclusively) have sex with other men identify as Gay. That is their identity, a Gay Man. I don't believe the same can be said for the equivalent black community, who identify more with being Black Men than with being Gay Men. There's a cultural divide, and it's true that there's a gap that needs to be bridged there. But I don't think that racism, or even lack of cultural understanding, plays that heavily in the LGBT community's cry for action from President Obama. I think that has more to do with a man that made promises and has yet to show indications of delivery on those promises.

When I look at the claims that the LGBT community is being too impatient with the President, I think there is some truth mixed with fiction in this claim. We need to be honest with ourselves and understand that he has only been in office six months. One simply cannot accomplish all of one's political promises in that time frame. You need to rally the base, make deals with key supporters in the legislature, convince the public, etc., particularly when we talk about potential major cultural shifts like repealing DOMA. Look at the fight we're having now with Health Care, and to me that should be an absolute given. There's also now "moral" component to that debate. When he takes up the anti-DOMA cause, there will be just as much rabble-rousing from the Right, if not more. That's a fight that needs full attention, I think. However, even though DOMA is a big issue and should likely be worked on when it can be a focus issue, President Obama has given no indication since he took office that he will tackle the issue. If anything, it's been repeated that he's not interested in the issue right now, and that's my concern. I'll work with you for Health Care, but you have to work with me on DOMA.

So do we have valid reasons for screaming at the Executive Branch for their lack of action on our issues? I believe so. I've said it many, many times: The moment you let up the pressure is the moment you lose the fight. If we don't constantly demand the attention of our law makers, we will never get it. However, we do need to be reasonable with regard to the President's plans and time tables. It would be nice to have more information about when the administration plans on tackling our issues. An all-inclusive ENDA was introduced to Congress today. Talk and work on repealing (or at least suspending) Don't Ask, Don't Tell has been buzzing. Those are two key policy changes that need to be enacted. So there is some movement. But our big money items, the items that we want to see before mid-term elections… those are what I'm worried about and what I want to hear more about.

Ultimately, I don't think the LGBT community hates is mad at President Obama due to deep seated racism, nor do I think we are being unfair in our demands. I do think we need to hold him to the fire and make sure he's accountable to the promises he's made, and I do think we need to rationally understand the process, but overall I think the LGBT community is doing what it can to forge ahead. Just like every other cause has previously. We don’t "stand in line and wait our turn," because we've seen that doesn't accomplish anything. We ask, we demand, and we fight for what we want.

A Smattering Of Hostility

I am just filled with rage today. Honestly, it's mostly due to things work related, but it's just spilling over into everything else. So when I opened my RSS reader over lunch to see what's going on in the world… well, I suppose I should have just left the damn thing alone and just read some more of the Sookie Stackhouse books.

If you don't read Joe.My.God, you need to check out his weekly articles on Holy Crimes. While the religious right continues to attempt to defile us queers as vile, predatory freaks, it's even more interesting to note the child molestors, child pornographers and outright scoundrels Joe brings to light every week. For people that are so obsessed with making the gays look bad, they should really take a few moment to look at their own damn people.

A new study popped up that scared the living crap out of me. 17% of gay males in Chicago are HIV-positive. Half of those men don't even know it. Why? Because they are too damned scared to go get tested. Man up. Go down to Howard Brown and get yourself tested. There is absolutely no excuse for being a sexually active gay man and not getting tested every few months. You can get free testing and you can get it confidentially. But most importantly, take care of yourself people! Be smart, wear condoms, practice other forms of sex. Sure, we may not have to live through another generation like the 80's, but you will still die from HIV and AIDS. You will still be broke from the cost of treatment and medication. You will still have a hard time getting insurance. You will still be stigmatized.

The senate, or at least one senator, is considering a bill that would repeal DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act that prevents same-sex marriage recognition at the Federal level) that would not do the same for Domestic Partnerships and Civil Unions. It's not even clear if this bill would truly afford same-sex couples federal marriage benefits, other than the right to have your marriage in one state recognized in another state. Truly, this is D.C. at it's finest: A gesture that doesn't mean a damned thing, that you have to work twice as hard to get passed, but at the end of the day makes you look like you did something good while not solving anything.

Good news for the day: Kentucky asshat Jim Bunning will not be running for office again. Good for you! Now, lets see which asshat will take his place…

Oh, and gays smoke more than straight people. If you're a LGBT person and hadn't made that casual observance yet, you need to open your eyes. Again, take care of yourselves people!

I think that's enough to raise my blood pressure to unhealthy levels for today...

Celebrate And Educate

This weekend, I had the honor of attending a very good friend's wedding. My boyfriend and I were invited and accepted the invitation and were excited to go for many reasons, including that the ceremony was held at the Krohn Conservatory in Cincinnati. The Conservatory is a big plant life repository, packed full of rare flowers and trees, complete with a room full of Bonsai Trees! To say that the Conservatory was an excellent venue for the wedding is just an understatement.

What I want to say is that it's a totally different thing to attend a wedding as a single person versus a person in a relationship, at least for me it was. Previous weddings I've attended were nice and all, but most of them didn't spark much in me. But this wedding, as with another one we attended a few months back, meant something more to me. It dawned on me that weddings aren't just to celebrate the happy couple, but they help all couples celebrate the idea of love, and there's something magical about that.

Ok, sure, that's a bit sappy. But this is where this spins a bit: Knowing and understanding that aspect of the wedding ceremony provides me with a deeper understanding of why Social Conservatives and Anti-Gay Pricks want to deny us our right to legal marriage. They believe that if we aren't legally allowed to wed in the eyes of the state, we won't celebrate our love. If we don't celebrate our love, we'll continue to be ashamed of it. And if we're ashamed of it, we'll go away.

That's why this fight for Marriage Equality is so important. Our love is real and deserves to be celebrated just as much as any one else's. It seems trivial, but psychologically if we are told that are relationships aren't "legal," then we are more likely to not celebrate them and embrace them. It's a twisted little game.

The oddest thing I learned from the wedding though is that there are some people that are still unaware of the LGBT community's struggle for Marriage Equality. A friend of mine was completely in the dark when it came to what DOMA is and what it means. He also was unaware that Marriage between same-sex couples was only allowed in a handful of states across the county. I didn't know how to react to learning this because to me, this issue seems to be the forefront issue right now. But so many people and potential supporters are still completely in the dark about our struggle.

We have to keep educating people. No matter how close your friends are, please take the time to make sure they are up on the issue of Marriage Equality. Many of these people that are clueless are our supporters, they just need to know that there is an issue that we need their help with.

Hyberbole Is Fun!

Seriously, hyperbole is a blast! It's even more fun when combined with blatant lies. For example, when discussing their stance, the group Alliance For Marriage Foundation (well, in truth they mean marriage inequality, but that doesn't have the same ring to it) started a new website called Protect DOMA (not link provided, don't really care to do so) which is designed to fight Obama's pledge to repeal the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). On said website is the following quip:

The Alliance for Marriage Foundation will work to continue to expand our education and mobilization efforts - especially within the Latino community - so that both marriage and freedom of conscience will remain protected in our nation.

The prize in this historic struggle is nothing less than the future of our children and grandchildren.

Ah, sweet, sweet hyperbole. "Marriage and freedom of conscience." "Future of our children and grandchildren." Classics! If you only lie and make it sound dramatic enough, you'll convince the populace at large that your side is correct! Brilliant!

Lets try some of our own:

I'm Just Gaying will work to educate the electorate and, indeed, the entire galaxy of the utmost importance of freedoms. We continue to fight not just for equality, but for the very freedoms to breathe and smile and laugh, as our opponents would seek to take away from us!

This fight is so important, because if we do not win all of over kittens will keel over immediately and the sun will be blotted from the sky as all the color us queers provide will be drained from the world!!!!!11! ZOMG!

See, isn't that fun! I think I'm going to start practicing a daily hyperbole from here on out.