I wanted to share this picture with you again. Last time I posted it was 2 years ago in regard to a Queer Prom here in Chicago that the crazy Right was trying to cancel. This time I'm showing it to you so that you understand that it is not unusual for boys and girls to go to prom in non-gender-conforming clothing. This was my high school prom back in 1999. 11 years ago in mostly rural Kentucky, a boy put on a dress and makeup and a girl donned a tux and off to prom they went. And were there any issues? Nope. Not one.
Why is this relevant? Because today, in 2010, there are still kids in the South that are having severe issues with their high schools and with going to Prom. Constance McMillen was originally barred from going to her prom because she wanted to bring another girl and dress in a tux. After the ACLU put pressure on the school, the school cancelled the prom all together just so they would not have to tolerate a homogay in their midst. Finally, after a judge ruled against the school, the school decided to host the Prom and invite Constance after all. Hooooooooray… oh, wait, hunh? They actually held a fake prom for Constance and a few other kids that are differently abled while throwing a "secret prom" for all the Normal kids elsewhere???
Wow….
I lived in the South. I grow up there, and although I was never entrenched in Southern Culture, I did spend many, many years of my life down there. I went to schools that taught about the War of Northern Aggression (as the American Civil War is often known in southern states), I witnessed segregation efforts through school district lines, I've been privy to the social minutia of Southern Folk. Even with all that knowledge and experience, I think that this kind of trickery and deceitfulness is a very deep low for all Southerners, not just the folk in Constance's town.
Why? Because that is the culture of the South. This is a culture that enforces the power of old white men by forcing the silence of all dissenters through social ostracization, if not by other more aggressive means. This is a culture that firmly believes that a person should never rock the boat or cause a stir, and that anything varying from the norm is, obviously, Satanic. This is a culture that would make even the children that were supportive of Constance participate in this cruel act of torture because they were terrified of stirring things up and messing up their social standing.
And for what? What did these students get? Looks like every other prom to me, except they left out several students just because the mainstream did not want to bother thinking about things "not them" or "not normal." Certainly nothing at all that could be perceived as gay! Wait… what's that down there… is that two girls tonguing?!?!?
Oh, OK. Cleared that one up… those girls are straight, so it's totally ok that they tongue. And don't worry about that couple that looks like their getting ready to make unplanned baby #1 there, they're straight too, so it's totes cool. Plus they totally promised to not get an abortion, so God's OK with it too.
This whole ordeal with Constance and her classmates, and more importantly her community, is just sickening. Sadly this happens all the time, but Constance is lucky enough to be garnering help from all of the place. That doesn't happen most times, and these sort of societal shuns and vicious, vile mind games are what lead some gay teens to contemplate suicide. And the worst part of the whole ordeal to me is that the whole she-bang was planned by the parents of the other students, by adults who should know better, by adults who would likely do anything to defend their own brood from this kind of action and who would retaliate with force against anyone who would do such a thing to their kid.
It's sick. Pure and simple. Political differences are one thing. Disagreeing with people is a matter of discourse. But this… this is a matter of inducing trauma to serve one's own fear and bias, and this kind of behavior cannot continue.
I hope the ACLU takes action. I hope they name every single student and parent that attended the "straight prom" in a civil suit and out them to the national media as raging bigots and freaks born only of hatred. I hope that those parents feel the scorn and shame twenty times over what they've inflicted on Constance. Finally, I hope that Constance wins a civil suit and walks out of town laughing all the way to the big city bank, but even if she doesn't, I hope those parents realize that all they have done is given Constance everything she needs to succeed through this ordeal: college scholarship, nationwide support, donation fund designed to get her out of her small town… and all Itawamba is left with is shame and guilt.
