Gaming Geekery: I Is Be Scared

Patrick's mischievous smile should have warned me. The little voice in my head was screaming "This is a BAD idea!" But who really listens to their inner monologue when a pair of pretty blues are staring you down? Besides, he just wanted me to try it once. I mean, if he liked it, it couldn't be that bad… could it?

Trying to appear as casual as possible, I picked up the controller and pressed start. The Playstation whirred and whizzed for a moment before the intro scene for Resident Evil came on and in no time I was plopped right in the middle of Raccoon City. I was surrounded by zombies and had almost no way to protect myself. My character was running across the game's cityscape, but my heart was pounding and my mind was screaming in terror. But I did not let that show on my face for one second, even though Patrick was watching me like a hawk for any sign of being scared.

I almost made it to a point where I could save the game and suggest another activity without seeming like I was freaked out. Almost. That is until something skittered by the window my character was standing by and I jumped. Before Patrick could even register that I had jumped, the creature that ran past the window dived through the roof and landed right in front of my character. And that's when the shriek came. From me. Oh, and the controller might have "slipped" out of my hand and found its way on the other side of the room.

Patrick did not know how easily I got spooked until that evening. And to be honest, I didn't either. I suspected, but I had never tested the theory. Of course, as teenage boys are prone to do, I was then subjected to some ribbing from Patrick about my inability to play Resident Evil, but I learned a valuable lesson about myself that night: I can't play horror games.

I always hear about how great the Resident Evil series is, and about how awesome these survival/horror/shooter type games are, but I just can't play them. And it's not just games specifically trying to be horror games. In the first Halo game the hero encounters The Flood, which is basically an alien zombie race, about half way through the story. Guess who stopped playing story mode?

Crackdown 2 introduced the world with mutant zombies, that got turned off within 10 minutes. Conker's Bad Fur Day had a level that was all about suspense/horror (although poking fun at it) and I barely pulled through that level, with only the humor to push me forward (where the hell is another Conker's game, Rare?). BioShock was going great until I wandered into a room and all the lights went out for a few moments until a spotlight came on to highlight a corpse hanging from a table nailed to the ceiling in a crucifix pose. I have no idea what happens in the game after that point.

I just can't play horror games. It is really an oddity to me because I love horror movies, but games are a different story. I feel like with a movie things continue to move forward for 2 hours then it's all over, but with a game I'm expected to walk myself into a room to scare the crap out of myself. For 10 hours straight. No thanks.

Try and try as I might, I just can't do it. I've even sat back and watched The Husband play Resident Evil 4 on the Wii, but I can't do it for more than a few moments. When my former roommate use to play Fatal Frame in the living room, I would have to go into my bedroom or put on headphones while I sat at my computer because I couldn't handle it.

Am I the only one out there that would rather play Beautiful Katamari than Ultra Mega Space Alien Zombies That Are Actually Vampires And OMG There's A Scary Little Girl Over There Trying To Eat My Face? Those of you who can force yourselves to play these survival horror games can you tell me how? What's the draw?

Gaming Geekery: Thoughts On Cataclysm

I've said that World of Warcraft has to be my personal favorite game, followed very closely by Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time and Final Fantasy X. Warcraft only really eeks out of the other titles because it's lasted so long and I've been playing it off and on for years at this point. I'm currently in an On period and thought I'd share my thoughts so far.

New Expansion, New Content

A new version of Warcraft just released last month called Cataclysm. What Cataclysm did (among many other things, but this is the biggest part in my mind) was go back to the early game and completely re-do it. Essentially, new life was breathed into the start of the game giving people like me another reason to re-visit old areas of the game we may not have explored in months if not years.

Initially I created a new Night Elf Mage, simply because I was excited to see my favorite race's new beginnings and get that back story going. But I switched it up and started playing a Goblin Shaman because I had never played through the Horde side of the game. I had previously touched the early zones of the Horde side a few times, but never played it through. So I took my Shaman all the way through the re-vamped content. Not having the original experience to compare it to, I have to say that I enjoyed the stories presented and really enjoyed the new thinking the game has with regard to questing and zone exploration. My one complaint would be that it appears much more work was put into the earliest areas and the higher-leveled areas seem pretty much the same to me.

I've recently started revisiting my Night Elf Hunter though, who was my original character. I hadn't touched her in probably over a year, but I've been more and more interested in playing the character again. It's a bit of a nostalgia trip playing this character though. The equipment in her inventory and items she has all bring back some memories of when I played the game a few years back and was much more involved in it at the time.

Redesigned Classes

Many of the classes have changed since I last played. For example, my Hunter now uses a Focus mechanic for her abilities when she use to use mana. Leveling up is also very different and goes right along with the game's streamlining efforts. Being forced into one role right off the bat is a bit jarring, but it does allow you time to really understand your chosen role before giving you the chance to make mistakes.

I think the Hunter change is the hardest one for me to really understand. I had grown use to playing her a certain way and I'm now trying to essentially re-learn her play style all together. No longer can she just release non-stop damage. Every once in a while she has to slow down now, and that's a bit tricky for someone who is use to unleashing ability after ability. But she's still fun to play regardless of the changes, and she still has the same pet she's always had as her companion, so there's some comfort in that at least.

The Shaman is a mixed bag of a class. It can heal other players well enough, it can act as a damaging force to be reckoned with, but I'm just not clicking with it like I thought I would. I enjoy healing in Warcraft in general, but the Shaman doesn't feel right to me. She does it well, mind you, but… well, it's just boring. She has very few bells and whistles. Perhaps it's time to go back to my Druid and explore what healing is like with him now.

Better Than I'd Thought

Well, those are my thoughts on the "new" World of Warcraft. I can sum it up by saying: It's different, but I like it, and the new content is better than I thought it would be. It's like biting into a sandwich thinking it's a burger, but it turns out it's actually a chicken sandwich. You have that moment where you are a bit shocked because you expected one thing, but then you realize it's actually a very good chicken sandwich, so you're OK with that as well.

I'm trying to expand myself to more console games recently too. When I say trying, I mean that I walk to my consoles, look at the boxes, decide I'm not up for any of them at the moment, then sit back down at my computer. I'm not quite sure why either because I just got some new games not too long ago. I'm sure I'll get around to them eventually though. Perhaps it's the bad gamer in me that just doesn't want to invest time into something I'm not sure I'll finish? Whatever it is, Nathan Drake is calling my name and I really want to make some time for him!

Being A Bad Gamer

My work laptop is busted at the moment and I'm sitting at work twiddling my thumbs waiting for it to be repaired... Which, of course, means time for a blog post!

I'm a bad gamer. There are a lot of reasons I say this, including my penchant for easy games and my lack of interest in puzzle challenges in action games, but I also say this because I never buy games anymore until they are cheap. Like $20 or less.

There was a time when I'd buy games on the day they came out. My husband probably recalls waiting in line with me to get Halo 3 and how excited I was to get home and tear in to some multi-player with some friends. But aside from the recent expansion for World of Warcraft (Cataclysm), Halo 3 was probably the last game I bought on day one.

Sometime after buying Halo I realized something that changed my buying habits: I just don't play games all the way through very often. I buy them, play them for a bit, enjoy what they offer, but then get bored before I finish it. I have very rarely finished a game and can only think of a few that I have actually completed. It was that realization that made me think "are these things really worth $60?"

Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy the time I put in to a game, but a game that I only get 10-15 hours worth of solo game time out of that costs $60 versus a board game that both myself and my husband have gotten countless evenings of enjoyment out of for $35... In that light, the $60 just doesn't seem reasonable anymore.

So now I buy games when they reach "greatest hits" status and cost $30. Or a buy two, get one free sale comes along. Or I see a fantastic deal on Amazon. Or I wander into GameStop and see a 4-year old game that I never got around to playing selling used for $5.

Why does that make me a terrible gamer? Well, for one, I still never finish those games. But (and more importantly to some of my developer friends) my purchases never feed the developer machine. Because I buy used, where neither the publisher nor developer ever get a dime, or I buy waaaay late in the product life cycle, where only the publisher is cashing in on the game anymore, my money doesn't really go to support the games I like.

But you know what? I'm still not gonna pay $60. Smart marketers know that customers like me who live in the tail end are still valuable. I'd rather buy and play old games that have proven themselves though reviews and friend recommendations than risk a hefty front-end investment now for something that I know I won't get full value out of anyway.

That makes me a bad "gamer," but I don't really care. I'm the one playing all the good games, enjoying what I find fun, and still having money left over to do other things, so I'll be bad gamer for quite some time to come. Besides, everybody loves a bad boy from time to time! ;)

Embracing The Geek

I'm pretty much a geek.

I've discussed it before, and honestly the idea that I blog at all puts me on the geekier end of the geek/non-geek spectrum. On top of blogging, I game (a lot), I love tech and gadgets (as much as budgets allow), and I follow general geek culture. In short, I'm kind of geeky.

But I recently noticed that I don't discuss much geekery here on this blog. I use to use my gaming blog and tech blogs as my geekery blogs and kept this blog more for personal and/or political discussion, but I've long since given up on my gaming blog and even longer since on my tech blog. The main reason I gave up on those blogs was that I wasn't enjoying having to keep those parts of my life separate and I was going to incorporate more geekery here on this blog… but I just haven't done that yet.

So I suppose this post is more to announce that I'll be incorporating more geekiness into I'm Just Gaying… It's an essential part of who I am and I feel rather silly trying to compartmentalize my life, even on the internets. I spend quite a bit of time in my daily life avoiding discussing various topics with certain people or groups, I'd rather not do that here.

There are a few ideas floating in my head on how best to incorporate different topics here, so bear with me as I try a few out. If you like something, let me know.

Gaming Geekery: Dragon Age

I don’t often talk about games on this blog, but I’m feeling rather compelled to lately.  Over the past week, I’ve been completely engrossed in an RPG called Dragon Age: Origins.  My family got a copy of the game for me back during Christmas, but I did not really get into the game until just recently.  I’m not sure whether that is because all of the hype around the game was a little too much for me or if it was because the game did not run optimally on my old desktop (it would run, just not at full force), but whatever was stopping me before does not bother me anymore.

Killing Time

The gameplay is, simply put, a blast.  It plays like some older games like Baldur’s Gate, but with some added nifitiness.  You get quests, you run around with a party, you kill stuff, you get rewards…  you know, the usual.  What sets this game apart is that the story is very, very well thought-out and presented.  Sure, the spells and abilities my characters can learn are neat, but that doesn’t match up to the in-depth approach to world building the game developers took.  People often talk about world building in relation to novels, but I find it to be just as important in games, and Dragon Age has plenty of it.  That is all not to mention how damn great the game looks!

Behind The Times?

Am I behind the times with this game?  Yeah, possibly.  My gaming buddies that read this might just look at me with dispair and wonderment at how it is I’ve come to play a game that is *gasp* almost a year old now!  It even has mulitple add-on adventures and a full fledged expansion, all of which I plan on working my way through at some point.  But I’ve really never been one to jump on games the day they come out.  The hassle of finding a copy is usually too much for me to bother, and all the constant chatter about the game tends to make me less interested for some reason.  In any case, I’m enjoying the game now and am very much looking forward to all the add-on content and the upcoming sequel!

The Geeks Conundrum

It's not really a big surprise to most people that I'm a bit of a geek. I do my best to hide it sometimes, but when it comes to my internet persona and the things I tend to write about, my closet geekiness is betrayed by my familiarity with l33t speak and comfortableness with dissecting various table top game rule sets. As I'm writing this I can literally see my readers clicking away from this story in hopes of not catching "Teh Geek" but bare with me for a moment!

It Ain't Easy Being Geeky

Being a geek ain't easy. Honestly it's not. Being a gay geek is a special type of problem. Being a gay geek that knows how to interact with a group of human beings in a social setting and a geek that enjoys life away from the 20-sided die on occasion is even harder. You see, I like games. Board games, video games, table-top role playing games, collectible card games: you name it, I probably like it. But what I don't like are the people that sometimes come with those games.

I'm not one to often stereotype, but sometimes stereotypes exist because they are more often true than not. When you think about "gamer" in the sense I described above, you often think: anti-social, poor hygiene, a severe lack of style, an obsession with Mountain Dew and Cheetos, an inability to discuss topic non-game related. I'm sure you can name a few more, but in an effort to not be a total ass I'll leave the rest to your imagination. Given these stereotypes, you can understand how it might be difficult for someone who is socially well-adjusted, if a bit shy, and who does value showering, and who does enjoy clothing that was purchased within the past 2 years, and who does pay attention to the world outside of the gaming microcosm, to fit in with the stereotype crowd. And that's where I'm at right now.

Hate The Player, Not The Game

Earlier this week a friend invited me to a Dungeons and Dragons night at a local games shop. Being that I really enjoy D&D (as us geeks are prone to call it) and that I haven't found a group to play with in quite a while, I took my friend up on the offer. I did not have time to get a character together or even make it to the store by the start of the game, but I wanted to go and at least be in the environment to see if I would want to play with the group at all. I'm pretty glad that I did not get as involved as making a character though because I was met with a unmovable wall of stereotype that just turned me and my friend completely off of the scene.

The table was packed full of the usual suspects: dirty clothes, unnaturally bad BO, an inability to introduce oneself to others, an strong aversion to making eye contact, a sick perverse desire to tell others how and what to do, blank stares and questioning looks when common pop culture references are made. It was not pleasant experience. But we decided to stick it through and see where the evening went. After all, the entire table wasn't occupied by weirdos. Myself, my friend and one of his other friends were there, so that accounted for something…. Ok, well, there were a couple others too, but they were hard to see through the haze of peculiar BO.

The evening continued with all the cast of players doing precisely what you would expect. The shyest of the players never spoke, the anti-social tried to commandeer everything, the smellies lifted their damned arms every 3 seconds, and the outright creeps just kept staring at everyone with a look that only a Dohmer would understand. That's not even to mention that the game did not start until almost 2 hours after the designated start time, and when my friend announced to the group we were heading home after an encounter we were scolded with "these games will go till at least 11 pm when we play, you should probably plan on that next time." That caused me to turn my head like a dog who doesn't understand what is being said to him and blink uncontrollably while I tried to understand this person's concept of congeniality.

The Solution, It Has Eluded Me

The big problem is every time I want to play D&D or another style game, I run into variations on this crowd. I can't seem to get other people who are more attuned with my sensibilities to even consider the game, and I can't really bring myself to deal with the normal crowd of players. I want to play, but I don't want to play on the terms that I'm presented with.

Normally at this point, I'd say that means I either have to "buck up or shut up." Either accept the terms presented (with all the "special" people involved) or move on and forget about it. D&D should be about fun and adventure, about stepping into a novel that you and your friends create as you go. It shouldn't be about persevering the literal unwashed masses. It should involve willpower checks for my character, not tests of my personal willpower to deal with anti-social people.

So what do I do? If I continue down the path I'm currently on of finding random games to get involved in, I'm likely to run up against the same results. After thinking about it for far too long, I came to the obvious conclusion: start my own game with just my friends! Yeah, I know, took me long enough to reach that conclusion, right? It is a foreign concept though because I've only ever been a player, never the other side of the table, but it look like that's the leap I'll have to make if I want to keep up gaming.

Plus then I can change the campaigns to involve far more LGBT characters than any other setting I've played before. Maybe then I can work in my tranny dwarf assassin into the story too...

Acquired: Geek Happiness

The husband and I made our way to the local game store last night to try out a few board games. The Dice Dojo is only a few blocks away but is one of the best gaming stores I've been to in a long time. It's got a pretty large selection of games, board, card, tabletop and otherwise, and a large area in back set up with the specific intention of allowing people to play some games and socialize.

Every Wednesday the store hosts an open board gaming night. They allow people to come in and try out nearly 300 different games they have opened for general use, and I suppose the idea is that if you try out some games, you'll be more likely to buy them. After all, most people are "try before you buy" types. That certainly includes myself and my husband, and the set up worked perfectly!

To be honest, I had been looking for a board game the husbear and I could play at home together. He's not really in to chess, there's only a few video games he enjoys (and even those on rare occasion), and the only board games we own involve hours of time and/or set up (Risk, Axis and Allies), so I was hoping to find something smaller scale that we could both enjoy. After consulting with a few friends and a shop employee, I decided we should try Carcassonne, and I'm glad we did.

The store was full of the types or people you might expect to find at a gaming function. I'm not one to normally stereotype, but if you know hard core gamers, you know what I'm talking about. But people were friendly enough and also smart enough to give us our own space to explore new games. Honestly though, we only got through one game of Carcassonne - Hunters and Gatherers before we decided to pick up the original version of the game for our own home use.

I wasn't shocked that my husband liked the game: it's fun and known as somewhat of a modern classic, so I knew that the game would be enjoyable. But I am very happy to have acquired a new piece of geekery for our house and particularly on that we can both enjoy. Together.

Game Break: Warhammer Online

I don't talk about gaming much on my blog, mostly because it's something I enjoy and have fun with, not really something I'm passionate about.  But I'm going to break with tradition here and talk about my newest gaming addiction Warhammer Online... but very little talking.

I'll mostly just say that I love this game so far.  I've never been a fan of PvP in other games I've played, but the integration of PvP into regular PvE game play is so seamless, I can't help but love it.  And it's pretty too. 

If you're an MMO freak, like me, you need to give it a shot.  Hit me up on Volkmar server, order side, character name Ryonin.