Video Blog: Blizzards and Unions

I recorded this last night while waiting for my husband to get home.  He was stuck in the snow on Lake Shore Drive for 12 hours.  Luckily, he's home safe and sound now, but we have no idea where his car is.

But in the video, I muse and meander about civil unions here in Illinois. 

Illinois Likes Me Now... Kinda

Yesterday, our newly re-elected Governor in Illinois, Pat Quinn, signed into law the legal recognition of same-sex couples via Civil Unions here in the Land of Lincoln. I couldn't be there in person (pesky job asking that people be at work!), but I do get the wonderful benefit of now being marginally less second-class in this country!

When my husband and I were planning our wedding last year, we had a lot of people ask why not just go to Iowa and get married. Their supreme court had legalized same-sex marriage not too long ago, and Iowa is only a couple hours drive from here, so that would seem like the logical thing to do. But we chose to go to Vancouver instead, which is no where near as easy to get to.

The biggest reason we went with a Canadian destination wedding (aside from Bride magazine telling us destination weddings were all the rage last year, obvy) was that we wanted to make sure that the laws would not change wherever we got married. We saw what happened in California and saw the confusion that exists there with some couples being married, some being in civil unions, others wrapped up in lawsuits, and we knew that could easily happen if we went somewhere else in the states.

And we weren't wrong. Right now, some Iowans are pushing hard to create an amendment to their state constitution to bar marriage equality, which is the only option the haters have left to over-turn the high court's ruling. Haters gotta hate, I suppose.

So we went to Canada. The laws aren't going to change up there. Even if the U.S. decides that only marriages between two straight, Christian, child-rearing folk will be recognized here, we know that we are still legally married somewhere. And if we go somewhere that does support LGBT folk as fully-recognized human beings, that marriage will be recognized there as well.

I'm glad to see civil unions come to Illinois. We've still got a ways to go toward real equality, but with this we've taken another step. And, from a personal perspective, I'm very happy that I will now be legally recognized here in this state as my husband's husband. I still have a few questions I need to get answered from a legal stand point (what, if anything, do we need to do?), but this FAQ (PDF) that Equality Illinois put together is really great if anyone else out there needs some more information.

Wherein I Sound Like A Fiscal Conservative... Kinda

People don't mind a tax increase if you cut out the waste and inefficiency

So says Mayor Dailey, so say we all.

Ok, I think I've officially overused that Battlestar Gallactica reference. Moving on!

Illinois, like most other states, is in a bit of a bind. Since the economy tanked, the state hasn't done so well with managing its debt. Which is to say that the state legislature and our wonderfully corrupt chain of governors has taken every bit of tax money and made it magically disappear without so much as a thank you note for all of our contributions.

Yesterday (or this morning rather, depends on what you consider 1:30 am to be) our legislators decided that in order to fix the problem of magically disappearing money that they should obviously ask for money to magically appear! Which, of course, means that they decided to hike income taxes. Obvi.

Now instead of giving the illuminati of Illinois (I <3> 3% of our income, we get the divine privilege of giving them 5%! That doesn't seem like much to some people. But let's assume you make $40k a year; you now are giving away an additional $800 to your government per year. That's about $35 a paycheck. Again, doesn't sound like much. But can you honestly see where you can cut out $35/check?

Maybe you'll drive less. Of course, Chicago has the highest gas prices in the country right now so even driving less, you're paying more right now (lets not even consider what this summer's gas prices will be). Maybe you'll just cut out your clothing budget. I mean, you're faded, frayed and out-dated threads from 5 years ago still fit, right? Or maybe you'll start that fabulous diet you've been thinking about. You know, the one where you just fast two days a week? Yeah, that one.

Now if you make $50k, we're talking $1000 a year. Bye bye vacation!

So we're essentially being asked to cut back on our spending so that the government can spend more. Being a liberal, that idea doesn't really bother me… if we're actually getting something in return or if I can say that the state will come out of this ahead. But this time I can't say that.

Illinois will be borrowing even more money this year than it did last year, in spite of the tax hike. And I won't see any quality of life increases.

I am normally quite OK with tax hikes, normally because they are rationalized in a more equitable way (i.e. higher earners see higher tax rates), but a blanket increase unfairly places pressure on middle class and poor workers. The tax increase will cause us to actually have to sacrifice. On the flip side, I don't think you'll see Vince Vaughn or Mayor Dailey not eating out any time soon because of the tax increase. They might have to fly commercial next time the go to Hawaii for vacation, but at least they can still go. The rest of us will be stuck here shoveling snow in Chicago.

Hooray For Civil Unions, Boo For Inequality

So Illinois was finally able to pass a Civil Unions bill. Last week both the state House and Senate passed the legislation allowing for the State to legally recognize the union between me and my husband, at least in some fashion less than it recognizes hetero couples unions.

It's Grrrreat!

I'll start off by saying I am ecstatic that the state I live in has passed some level of recognition, something beyond the cute piece of paper the City of Chicago offers. When my husband and I started looking at all the paperwork and legal shenanigans we'd have to pull just to get some of the same rights as straight married couples, I got a slight sense of vertigo. And that's not even to mention the cost involved with all that!

For example, to ensure that we legally had the right to make medical decisions for each other when we unable to do so for ourselves, we had to fill out forms, have them notarized, then file said forms with our doctor, our lawyer, and any hospitals or other medical facilities we visited. Then we had to ensure that we had copies with us, just in case. Then we had to hope that a given facility would honor it, much less allow us to be together considering we aren't "family." (Yes, Obama has changed regulations to ensure that same-sex couples have visitation rights, but it's new and implementation is still questionable)

So once our marriage is legally recognized by the State of Illinois as a Civil Union, we can forget about all that and simply show proof of our union if any questions arise.

But Not Perfect...

I do still have problems with the idea of Civil Unions though. Regardless of what rights they may confer to us, they are still something "other than" and "less than" marriage. Quite literally, they offer less rights than a Marriage. And they are the only option available to queer couples right now, which means we have created a Separate but (less) Equal institution.

What's even more infuriating about it? Straight people can take part in Civil Unions at their discretion. Meaning they can take advantage of the lack of rights specific rights offered by Civil Unions. For example, widows/widowers who may be receiving pensions from deceased spouses' former employers will likely lose those pensions if they re-marry. But now they can take advantage of a Civil Union, which is quite pointedly NOT a marriage, and receive many of the right and benefits of a Marriage without losing those pensions.

Basically, straight couples can pick and choose what is best for them. Queer couples cannot. We are given one option, take it or leave it. In creating Civil Unions, we have granted even more rights to our heterosexual friends while granting ourselves some basic rights, which just moves the inequality marker further down the field rather than bringing us actually closer to full equality.

A Delicious Appetizer

To be sure, I'm happy to be able to have my marriage recognized in Illinois. But I'm not satisfied. It's like getting a really great one-ounce steak: It may be delicious, but it's just not enough. I won't say no to it, but I certainly will not be satiated with it, especially when I see my neighbors being offered a choice between a one-ounce steak and a full twelve-ounce steak.

I Like To Make Up Awards Too

So… the elections happened. Frankly, I'm finding it hard to be too upset about anything or too thrilled about anything unless it happens in my voting district, so I don't particularly care much for the wins and losses around the country. If people want crazy-ass freaks as their elected officials, so be it! They'll change their minds again in a couple years anyway.

Here in Illinois we elected Mark Kirk as our senator. And I'm supremely confused by that. I mean, this is a closeted gay guy that can't find it in himself to support marriage equality. He supports civil unions though. Which is great, if you enjoy being treated like the family pet getting fed table scraps. Aside from that, this is also the guy that can't remember which military medals and awards he's earned, so he just makes them up. Sounds like a super fella.

But whatever, as a friend pointed out he's not the worstest Republican out there. He does at least pretend to not completely hate the gays. Here's to 6 years of frustrating hypocrisy and angry letters from me!

Maybe We Could Marry In Illinois

Recently, we have been considering going to Canada to get married. That's mainly because we don't have any personal vestment or interest in any of the states here in the U.S. that currently recognize marriages between same-sex couples, and because a weekend trip to Canada could be really fun! Besides, after the debacle that is Proposition 8 in California, I'm leery of marrying in any of the states until our federal government gets behind it because we've now seen that all it takes is a few hillbillies with a drive to steal someone's rights away.

Something happened last week though that might change my position. Illinois Senate just introduced a marriage equality bill. Illinois house already has one working it's way through the system, so the Senate starting on one is a good sign. If these go through, Illinois could be the next state to officially recognize civil marriages for all couples. And it just so happens we live in Illinois.

This gives me hope, because I'd love to actually benefit from marriage like the hetero couples we know do. However, the same thing could happen here as did in California, thereby leaving us in limbo. To be fair, the main reason I'm not as concerned about where we get married right now is because it doesn't matter in the eyes of the law: we may be married in Canada, but not in Illinois. In our hearts and minds we'll be married regardless of that, but when it comes to me going to a hospital or demanding benefits for my husband when/if we decide to adopt and one of us chooses to stay home… those things are important. Those things could make me actually consider where we want to get married beyond just how nice it sounds to be married there.

Of course, this is all theoretical right now. Neither bills have passed, and if they do they will need to be reconciled then signed into law by our Governor. Then the inevitable law suits will be filed by wingnut freaks which may or may not delay the law's implementation. All this is not even to mention that we thought they were going to pass this bill last term as part of some funding bill, which they failed to do. What I'm trying to say is that this bill being introduced is a step forward, but not enough of one to give me hope just yet.

Why Does Illinois Still Fall Behind?

Can someone please explain to me how in the hell Iowa can afford marriage rights to all of it's citizens and now Wisconsin can give LGBT folk a proverbial bone with Domestic Partnership rights, yet Illinois, home of Chicago, bastion of liberalness in the Midwest, remains on the side of bigotry by denying its citizens the right to marriage?

Please, can someone just take five minutes to explain that to me? Because I don't think anyone has a damn clue how inept Illinois politicians can be concerning gay rights. I don't think anyone would have guessed that our "ultra liberal" state could find a way to sweep us queers under the rug and get away with it.

Personally, I'm pretty well focused on why our federal government stills seems to think it's ok to hate on the gays, but that doesn't mean that our states can't work out internal issues in the mean time. With the advances on the federal Proposition 8 challenge coming down the wire today, it seems likely that we'll be hearing more about that sooner rather than later, but again, why can't my damned legislature pass equality measures in this state?

Damned politicians and their utter laziness… I swear, if I did double the amount of work those asshats did in a day, I'd be fired for not getting enough done...