27-Year-Old Friends Of The Most Powerful Man On The Planet Do The Darndest Things...

Obama's Head Speech writer is 27-years-old. He's also, apparently an internet newb and likes to post silly pictures of himself, friends, and card-board cut-outs of our Secretary of State to be (like the one on the right. He's the guy fondling Hillary), but what 27-something doesn't like to do that?

The point is, Jon Favreau is 27. And the head speech writer for the President of the United States of America. This is the guy that put together some of the most memorable speeches of this most recent campaign season (possibly ever). This is a man who works side-by-side with the most powerful man on the planet. This is a dude that works tirelessly to ensure that our nation's first African-American President will be well received in public.

And he's 27. My age. Still probably paying off school loans. Young enough to still want to throw keggers, but old enough to have to spend two days recovering from them when he attends one. And he writes the President's speeches.

I hate this guy. Sooooo much.

Ok, really, I'm just jealous because the biggest accomplishment I have in my professional life is a mid-level analyst gig, a fun (but still unknown) tech blog, and an absolutely unread barely read personal blog. And this guy dines with Obama and writes some of the most sweeping spoken words I've ever heard. Yes. I am jealous of his talents and his accomplishments. I'm also extremely proud to know that someone of my generation is that close to the President's ear, someone that can speak for me as a Gen Y-er. As a guy that would molest a Hillary Clinton stand-up poster at a party, take pictures of it, and blast in onto Facebook for the whole world to see. Because I would absolutely do that. Well, he did it first, so I'd have to do it with someone else, and I'd totally do it with a Republican like

So, anyway, I'm jealous as hell of Jon Favreau, but I'm also glad he's there. Congrats on landing the gig, bud!

(P.S. - If you want to invite your friend there to a party some time... the cute one kissing Hillary... I'm just saying, you know how to reach me!)

Don't Pet The PUMAs, They Aren't As Cute And Cudly As They Appear

For those blissfully in the ignorant column, the PUMAs (Party Unity My Ass) are a group of dumb, jackass Hilary supporters that have decided that not voting or voting McCain is a better idea than voting for Obama. They formed shortly after Clinton suspended her campaign (read: lost) and have since made lots of noise about how the Democratic Party has completely derailed, rah, rah, rah...

Look, I like Hillary. She's just swell. I would have been happy to vote for her if she were the nominee and I would have supported her more in the primaries if it weren't for fears that she'd just as soon throw us gays under the bus as her husband did. But swearing off your party and supporting the anti-her for president simply because you didn't get your way? Well, that deserves a big old Fuck You!

Oh, but wait, there's more! They aren't quite done yet, no no. Today, resident jackass-in-chief Will Bower (the twit behind PUMA) spoke to the press. And the press, being the press, soaked it up and printed it as soon as the words were falling from his mouth. A few choice statements:

• "I see Barack Obama as essentially being the Democratic George Bush"
• "I didn't want to validate corruption or reward the campaign for what I thought was a fraudulent victory."
• "[McCain is] a bipartisan leader, and I think that's the kind of leadership we need right now."

Oh, and my favorite non-sensical circular argument:

• "I think [Sarah Palin] is essentially as qualified as Barack Obama. The benefit of Palin is that she is only second on the ticket, as opposed to first. I feel that Barack Obama is no more qualified than Sarah Palin."

So you support McCain because he's got a nit-wit for a running mate? Great rationale there, buddy. Listen, when all you're rights have been stripped from you and Palin starts trying to push the nuclear button to further the Apocalypse, let me know how well that worked for you.

Yeah. PUMAs are ridiculous. I actually was forced to eat dinner with one the other day and I was as close to slapping a queen across the face in front of the entire bar as I think I've ever been. My friend and I spent the rest of the evening making him feel like the dumb-ass he is, and somehow he had a good time and said I was pleasant. Maybe I should be an asshole more often...

Clinton Gives Speech, Sounds Bitter And Old School

 "I am so proud we stayed the course together."

Well, I'm glad George Bush came out to support the Democratic Primary process... oh.  That wasn't Bush talking about "staying the course?"  It was... Hillary?  .... man....

I can't imagine why people looking for change in Washington didn't flock to her banner this time around...

But wait, there's more! 

"I'm not making any decisions tonight.... I'll be meeting with leaders of the Democratic committee over the next few days..."

GTFO!  We. Are. So. Over. It. Now.

KTHXBAI!!!!!