A New Way To Make An Impact

Awhile ago I was reading a study of Gen Y-ers, people of my generation. The study looked at what people of my generation want from the world and expect from the world, with a particular focus on the workplace. While the study was designed to shine some light on my confusing generation's work ethics, it actually turned up some rather more interesting information.

I'd link the article but I can't seem to find it anymore. However, the interesting tidbit had more to do with our expectations of the world rather than the work place. To summarize, we Gen Y-ers expect social change and justice, and we expect it to happen without arguments and fights, which we see as primitive and backwards. In other words, we want what we want not and we see no reason that we should have to actually fight for it.

This translates almost perfectly to the current gay movement. I've said it a million times: I just don't get why we have to fight. I honestly don't understand why anyone listens to these Christian Regressionists that have shown time and time again that they'd prefer us to be in another Dark Age. I simply can't comprehend any valid reason to be anti-gay. But I know we have to fight and we have to keep struggling, or we won't get anything.

Yesterday's Day Without A Gay seems to not have been that big of a success, as I was worried about. Not a single gay man I know stayed home in protest. Of course, that's anecdotal, but it is telling. From reports of the event, people that did stay home either called in "sick" or worked it out with their employer before hand. Weak.

Look, I thought we should have approached the whole thing differently, but if you wanted to participate, you should have gone full-force and done it. Don't putz around. Calling in generically "sick" didn't accomplish a damned thing because it did not force those you know and work with to consider their positions (i.e., the whole point of a protest/demonstration), and the same goes for pre-arranging. The point is to make a point, not to be casual observers of others making a point for you.

I don't believe that a statement like Day Without A Gay works for our movement. I think we need our own voice and have to stop copying those that came before us. Some things work, like marches and public protests. Deciding where to spend your hard-earned income based on knowledge about the companies you shop from also helps. But in this environment and with our generation's need for instant action/reaction, a work boycott simply doesn't work.

Instead, we need to band together and make actionable statements to those around us. People don't vote against that cute kid next door or the nice tech guy that always fixes my computer at work, they vote against the mythical militant gay guy. They vote against the things they perceive or flat-out don't know, which is why the Christian Conservatives are trying so damned hard to paint us as ugly, angry, mob-like, militant Queers. But if we make concerted efforts to let people know who we are, by coming out to people and letting them know why those kinds of anti-gay initiatives really hurt us, then we'll make a difference. People can't vote against the sweet gay boy that is hurt and broken.

That's why I strongly support the White Knot campaign and why I think our focus should be on one-to-one activism when we aren't in the streets. Our fight's don't have to take place on weekend only. We can fight this battle everyday in the office. At church. On the bus. On Facebook. But we have to fight it, we can't run from it, which is sadly what I felt like Day Without A Gay ultimately was: escapism. The world exists as it is now, full of hate toward us. It's up to us to change it, one heart and mind at a time.

Take Action Tomorrow, Whatever You Do

I'm really worried about this Day Without A Gay movement tomorrow. I've said my peace and stated what I think we should do, and what I will do, but there is a lot of talk in the world today about the event. Talk is good. But too much talk and no action is bad.

As a movement, LGBT people have made powerful statements over the past few weeks. I'm not sure that tomorrow will go as planned, and the media will feast on that and say things like "Is the movement already dead?" Blah, blah, blah. We'll know that isn't true, and realize that the idea of Day Without A Gay may not have been as well thought out as necessary. But the public won't realize that, and the rabid, anti-gay twits of the world will dine on the news like it was Jesus' Last Supper.

I could be over-reacting, as I've been known to do (c'mon, you read this blog, you know full well that I can stretch things at times). I sympathize with people that do not feel they should participate… well, some of them. Not the ones that are saying that they aren't out at work and so they can't join the fight. Nah, I don't sympathize with them. They, more than any one else, need to take advantage of my proposed Day With A Gay alternate-movement.

See, many people in our community like to argue that our LGBT rights are the absolute same thing as African-American rights. But they aren't. They share commonalities, and the soul is the same, but it's because of people that hide in closets that it's not the same. Black people have to face discrimination. They have fight that look they get from bigoted people every day. Gay people do too, at least those of us who choose to live open and take control of our environment. But while we still have the large majority of our population hiding and cowering in fear, achieving equality will not be easy.

I strongly encourage you to spend tomorrow talking to friends, family and co-workers about equality for everyone and why it is important for us all. If you choose to participate in Day Without A Gay, make sure you then turn around and show the world that you're not just some lazy bum looking to take an extra day off. Make sure that you make an impact, talk to people, join a protest and/or volunteer your time to a queer-friendly organization.

Make Dec. 10 A Day WITH A Gay

A Day Without A Gay is a movement being put together to essentially show the world that us gays are a) relevant, b) a financial force to be reckoned with, and c) that we are everywhere. What is suppose to happen is on December 10, the LGBT community is suppose to call in to work "gay." Not sick day, not a vacation day, simple a day that we refuse to come to work because we are gay.

I'll let that sink in for a moment, then we'll continue.

Ok. This is such an interesting idea and one that has the potential to make a HUGE impact on people! … of course, that's assuming we live and work in areas and in jobs that won't fire us for being gay or for abusing leave policies. And this would also have a HUGE impact on service industries, that tend to be dominated by our people… assuming that if you work in one of these typically hourly environments you can afford to take the day off.

In turn, the organizers have asked people to then spend the day working for a charity or philanthropic organization, or even attend a rally like the one being hosted here in Chicago. The idea is that if we don't go to work and don't spend any money but instead volunteer our time for the needy, then we'll show those straights what they are missing!

I hate to be a contrarian, but this actually won't show a single hetero person anything. They won't see us. We won't be at work. We won't be talking to them about our gay lives and our gay boyfriends. We will, in essence, be just as invisible, actually more so, than we've been for quite some time now. In fact, many of the haters will take it as a victory for them because we won't be around them, which is exactly what the haters want.

Invisibility will never accomplish acceptance! Let me put it another way: If we hide from the people that hate us, about 70% of the Florida population and at least 52% of the California population, they will never change their minds because they will not be forced to re-examine their ignorant hatred.

I say instead of A Day Without A Gay we give the public A Day With A Gay. Instead of tucking our tail and hiding for a day and passively hoping that someone takes notice, we bring it to them. Wear a rainbow or white knot and explain to everyone why you are wearing it. Let everyone around you know why you are mad about your rights being stripped from you and why they should be afraid the same thing could happen to them. Tell them exactly what can be done to stop it from happening in the future. If they know who we are, if they know how much it hurts and why it hurts, they can't hate us.

Activism is key in this movement and we must act swiftly to make a change, but hiding who we are will never help us achieve our goals of equality. If we aren't there to tell them why these anti-gay initiatives are evil, then our enemy will be. Don't let your friends and co-workers be swayed by the Scare Bears. Take a stand and let them know!