A Smattering Of Hostility

I am just filled with rage today. Honestly, it's mostly due to things work related, but it's just spilling over into everything else. So when I opened my RSS reader over lunch to see what's going on in the world… well, I suppose I should have just left the damn thing alone and just read some more of the Sookie Stackhouse books.

If you don't read Joe.My.God, you need to check out his weekly articles on Holy Crimes. While the religious right continues to attempt to defile us queers as vile, predatory freaks, it's even more interesting to note the child molestors, child pornographers and outright scoundrels Joe brings to light every week. For people that are so obsessed with making the gays look bad, they should really take a few moment to look at their own damn people.

A new study popped up that scared the living crap out of me. 17% of gay males in Chicago are HIV-positive. Half of those men don't even know it. Why? Because they are too damned scared to go get tested. Man up. Go down to Howard Brown and get yourself tested. There is absolutely no excuse for being a sexually active gay man and not getting tested every few months. You can get free testing and you can get it confidentially. But most importantly, take care of yourself people! Be smart, wear condoms, practice other forms of sex. Sure, we may not have to live through another generation like the 80's, but you will still die from HIV and AIDS. You will still be broke from the cost of treatment and medication. You will still have a hard time getting insurance. You will still be stigmatized.

The senate, or at least one senator, is considering a bill that would repeal DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act that prevents same-sex marriage recognition at the Federal level) that would not do the same for Domestic Partnerships and Civil Unions. It's not even clear if this bill would truly afford same-sex couples federal marriage benefits, other than the right to have your marriage in one state recognized in another state. Truly, this is D.C. at it's finest: A gesture that doesn't mean a damned thing, that you have to work twice as hard to get passed, but at the end of the day makes you look like you did something good while not solving anything.

Good news for the day: Kentucky asshat Jim Bunning will not be running for office again. Good for you! Now, lets see which asshat will take his place…

Oh, and gays smoke more than straight people. If you're a LGBT person and hadn't made that casual observance yet, you need to open your eyes. Again, take care of yourselves people!

I think that's enough to raise my blood pressure to unhealthy levels for today...

Quit It!

I quit smoking three years ago. Stopped cold turkey. Prior to that, I had smoked about 3/4 a pack a day for about five years. One day, I decided that I just didn't want to smoke any longer. Ok, to be honest, that was egged on because of a guy I was dating who was not a fan of my smoky aroma, but after that relationship went sour two months in, I decided to stick with the quitting for my own sake.

It was two years before I even touched another cigarette, and even then only when I was in a highly inebriated state. Since then, I've had the occasional cigarette on a weekend, but nothing extensive. To be honest, probably not the best thing in the world for me to do, but the influence of alcohol and a boosted confidence in "not being addicted anymore" swayed my decisions.

Now, I haven't had a cigarette in over a month, maybe even two. This past week has been absolute hell though, almost as if I'm going through another withdrawal phase, only smaller. I get cravings while I'm at my desk at work and I can't shake them. My immediate reaction is to eat something, but I'm also trying to lose weight, so additional food is not on the plate for me. I'm chewing gum (one of me all time cure-alls… gum chewing helped me lose weight in college and helped when I first quit smoking), but it's not helping. In fact, it's hurting more than it helps. Since I know have a stomach condition that needs to be regulated by massive amounts of Nexium, my doctor has told me to stop chewing gum as it agitates my problem.

All this has left me with my only other tried and true method for overcoming urges: meditation. Meditation is a much slower and time-consuming way to overcome my desire to smoke which makes it non-ideal for the work place. Not to mention this place can be loud and people are constantly walking past my desk…

What's the moral of this story? Don't start smoking. It really fucking sucks. If you are a smoker, quit now but know that it's gonna be hard as hell. The sooner you quit though, the sooner you'll be through the hard times. If you're a smoker that hasn't quit yet and you're around someone who has, be supportive. In general, fuck the tobacco companies and fuck my body's desire for their product.

P.S. - Happy 250th post to me!