Dear New Orleans

Dear New Orleans,

I would appreciate it if you didn't have thunderstorms the entire weekend I'll be visiting. That sunny day you have scheduled for Monday is great though, can we get a few more of those?

LYLAS,

Dickie

Joys Of Winter: Waking Before Dawn

I just need to throw this out there: I abhor waking up before dawn. I think it's a crime against humanity to be forced to wake up before the world itself does.

One of the biggest reasons I hate Winter is the absolute lack of sunlight. And the freezing ass cold, but that's kind of related to the sun light. Waking up and realizing that the world won't even bother doing the same until after you are already at work is just soul sucking. But waking up in October and seeing complete darkness outside, and also noticing that there are only 8 lights on in the 30 story building next to you (not that anyone is counting), that's just plain sad.

Oh, and the absolute Thrill of seeing the weather report and knowing that when you walk out the door it's only a few degrees away from freezing outside, well that just puts an eternal smile on this face…. God, I need to move back South...

Dear Chicago Weather

Dear Chicago Weather,

How's it going? Um, so listen… I'm not really sure how to say this, but you really, really stink. I mean, all Summer long you give us bland and mild 80 degree weather, if that. Then, just as if you got bored with that idea, you turned on us and gave us 50-60 degree weather for the start of Fall. It's total BS!

I've lived all other this country, and even outside it. I've seen how seasons are suppose to be. And after living here for three years, I can clearly see that you don't have a flipping clue what each season is suppose to be like. You either snow at the beginning of Fall, or give us 6 months straight of snow as if we're in Alaska, or you give us an excellent Spring yet somehow forget to transition to Summer, but you haven't gotten it right yet.

So here's the deal. You need to get your shit together. I mean, we all love you and are here to support you, but there comes a time where we have to say you either get on board or get the hell on… and we're not really seeing you get on board. Maybe it's all the alcohol, or maybe just the stress, but whatever it is you're way too distracted to carry on. So, I'm going to give you one more chance to get your act together. I love you, but if you keep this up I'm going to have to move on.

LYLAS,

Dickie

Smadsty

I'm in some kind of mood today. It's a combination of sad, mad, and feisty… I think I'll call it smadsty.

We're going on day three or four of what I can only call drab weather here in Chicago. No sunlight, just bleak clouds. They aren't even moving, they're just crowded up there in the sky like the people that get crammed together right in front of the stage at a concert. It's disgusting.

This is the kind of weather that always bums me out in a major way. It's the kind of weather that makes winters so absolutely miserable for me. It's the kind of weather that signifies to me that in just a couple months I'll be trapped indoors all hours of the day because it'll be so unbearably cold outside that I won't want to leave. Ever. And I won't ever get to see the sun because the few hours that it shows its face during the day, I'll be stuck in my cubicle that conveniently is not near a damned window….

Oh, Winter! You and I are such BFFs! Yeah, I know, it's still technically fall here, but all fall is here is a prep period for the horrible coldness to come. At least I still have Halloween to look forward to this year, although I'm not sure what I'm going as yet. Here's to hoping we don’t get any snow in October this year like we have in year's past!