Another Silly Cincinnatism

I get down on Cincinnati a lot. Like, a lot a lot. It's one of those places that I lived that I didn't realize I was so unhappy with until I left. As I've said before, I miss my friends and family, but I don't regret moving here to Chicago one little bit. And here's another reason why.

A pro-Atheism billboard is put up by an organization using that organization's own funds, and then subsequently taken down because some nutjobs go all ape shit about it and threaten the owner of the building the billboard was on with violence. They did not threaten the Organization that paid for the billboard, mind you, just the owner of the building that the billboard was on.

I didn't realize Atheism was such a threat to the conservative peoples of Cincinnati that certain members of the city would threaten violence because of it. Much less several viable threats. I clearly remember going to a New Age Spirituality conference in downtown one year, and even shopping at several New Age stores around town, none of which seemed to have issues. There weren't even protestors at the conference. Yet Atheism, which stresses the lack of a god rather than a wholly different godly structure, is a bigger threat to Cincinnatians than new age theology?

I truly feel sorry for Cincinnati anymore. Mark Twain was right about that town, it simply perpetually lives years behind the rest of the country. Why would Christians, Muslims, Scientologists, Whatevers be threatened by a billboard, so much so that they'd go out of their way to come up with conceivable threats? I just don't get that city anymore, and likely never will.

I had entertained the idea of moving back there later in life, but I don't think it'll ever be a town that I could be happy living in again. It's not just this billboard thing either, it's the non-stop Conservative mentality of the area. There's nothing progressive here, and every day they fight just a little bit harder to be actively regressive.

Celebrate And Educate

This weekend, I had the honor of attending a very good friend's wedding. My boyfriend and I were invited and accepted the invitation and were excited to go for many reasons, including that the ceremony was held at the Krohn Conservatory in Cincinnati. The Conservatory is a big plant life repository, packed full of rare flowers and trees, complete with a room full of Bonsai Trees! To say that the Conservatory was an excellent venue for the wedding is just an understatement.

What I want to say is that it's a totally different thing to attend a wedding as a single person versus a person in a relationship, at least for me it was. Previous weddings I've attended were nice and all, but most of them didn't spark much in me. But this wedding, as with another one we attended a few months back, meant something more to me. It dawned on me that weddings aren't just to celebrate the happy couple, but they help all couples celebrate the idea of love, and there's something magical about that.

Ok, sure, that's a bit sappy. But this is where this spins a bit: Knowing and understanding that aspect of the wedding ceremony provides me with a deeper understanding of why Social Conservatives and Anti-Gay Pricks want to deny us our right to legal marriage. They believe that if we aren't legally allowed to wed in the eyes of the state, we won't celebrate our love. If we don't celebrate our love, we'll continue to be ashamed of it. And if we're ashamed of it, we'll go away.

That's why this fight for Marriage Equality is so important. Our love is real and deserves to be celebrated just as much as any one else's. It seems trivial, but psychologically if we are told that are relationships aren't "legal," then we are more likely to not celebrate them and embrace them. It's a twisted little game.

The oddest thing I learned from the wedding though is that there are some people that are still unaware of the LGBT community's struggle for Marriage Equality. A friend of mine was completely in the dark when it came to what DOMA is and what it means. He also was unaware that Marriage between same-sex couples was only allowed in a handful of states across the county. I didn't know how to react to learning this because to me, this issue seems to be the forefront issue right now. But so many people and potential supporters are still completely in the dark about our struggle.

We have to keep educating people. No matter how close your friends are, please take the time to make sure they are up on the issue of Marriage Equality. Many of these people that are clueless are our supporters, they just need to know that there is an issue that we need their help with.

Leaving Cincinnati

I really hate Cincinnati. If I had the option, I would never, ever go back. However, my brothers, extended family, and many, many friends still live there. While they are not able to redeem the city of its innumerable issues, they are enough to draw me back from time-to-time.

My brother says that I'm "spoiled" by Chicago, that I've had it way too easy in the land of Boystown and Diversity, and that I simply wouldn't last in a town like Cincinnati anymore because I'm now accustomed to Chicago's lifestyle. Which is true to an extent, but that's pretty much a simplification of the reasons that I prefer Chicago to Cinci-tucky-nati.

The truth is that I feel at ease in Chicago. In a city as big and diverse as Chicago, I feel like I can be myself at all times and worry very little, if any, about my personal safety. Specifically, I can wander down the street hand-in-hand with my boyfriend and not feel like I'll be shot, I can sit at a dinner table and speak openly about all things gay and not worry about a manager asking me to quiet down or leave because the table of people next to me are "uncomfortable." I'm free and not repressed.

Many of my friends in Cincinnati don't get it. Well, I think maybe they do, but they give me a harder time about it than I deserve. I get uncomfortable in overly-straight bars. Not bars that are straight, but bars where the boys feel as if they need to constantly assert their pussy-loving masculinity. In a bar where, god forbid, I tap a guy on the shoulder to get by him or if I happen to look at a good-looking guy the immediate reaction is rage and chest-puffing, I don't feel welcome.

Many gay men feel perfectly at home in straight bars, just like many of my straight friends feel perfectly at home in gay bars. But there's a limit. I wouldn't take any of my straight friends to a bar like Touche in Chicago, were there's a "back room" and the focus is absolutely on sex. Hell, I probably wouldn't take them to Jackhammer, where gay porn is constantly playing on the screens. That would be uncomfortable for them. Likewise, I don't enjoy bars that solely focus on the delicate breeding dance of the hetero male and female, or bars that exude anti-gay sentimentalities.

Cincinnati, as a whole, is not a very gay-welcoming town, from my experience. It's supposedly getting better, but I'm pretty sure it will never be like Chicago. Or New York. L.A. San Francisco. One day, when the city changes things around, I'll reassess my opinion, but until then, I'd highly recommend avoiding Cincinnati at all costs, unless of course you are white, married, middle-aged, middle-income and have children. Then the town is quite quaint.