The Real Cost Of Inequality

I just finished listening to this week's Savage Lovecast, hosted by the wonderful "spokesgay" Dan Savage. Dan is a sex advice columnist and a sex advice podcaster and an author on lots of books on sex issues, and most recently the go-to-guy for media post Proposition 8. I'll explore that issue with a different post altogether, but I wanted to talk about this week's episode of the Lovecast for a bit.

First of all, if you haven't listened to the Lovecast, you should. It's vulgar and it tackles many issues that you will never hear on other sex advice shows, but that's one of the many reasons I love the show. Dan expertly handles gay and straight sex advice (and a little relationship advice).

This week's episode was a bit more activist oriented though and featured two calls from two different gay people. The first talked about his outright rage at the passing of Proposition 8. The caller talks about being in school and being overwhelmed by anger looking at any straight person because it's possible that person voted to rip his rights away. He goes on to talk about how he doesn't want to feel this way, and that professionally he can't, but he just doesn't know how to not be angry and want justice.

I sympathize with this kid. Luckily (or unluckily), I live in a state that hasn't voted on marriage equality, but I can imagine that if I lived in California or in Florida still, I'd be feeling the same way right now. The truth is I'm not sure there is any reason to not be angry. But we have to realize that not all straight people voted against our rights. In fact, A LOT voted for our rights. We're never going to have the full support of the entire country, but it's extremely bolstering to know that we have as much support as we have. It's the haters that we have to worry about, and someone being straight doesn't qualify them as a hater.

The second call hit me hard. Very hard. I teared up a bit, to tell the truth. This poor girl was from a Midwestern state, and just can't stand knowing that everyone around her hates her just for being who she is. Seeing all of these hate-inspired bills pass has been tearing her up inside, and she simply can't handle the mental abuse and anguish. I cried when I heard her call because I identified with it. I lived in Kentucky when they told gays they are worthless piles of shit back in 2004, with 75% of the state agreeing that gays should not have equal rights. I knew none of my friends would vote for the measure, but I also knew that I had to go to work the next day and sell video games to people that did.

It's psychological torture, just like I said earlier today. They think that if they continue to beat us down, us uppity queers will just shut up, sit down and let the Theocracy take over. Unfortunately for them, they hit the wrong fucking trigger this time. We're done playing nice. Things like last weekend's protests, a day without a gay, and many other movements are just getting started. We will not stop until we have our rights, and you will not hear the last from us until we have our just, equal, civil rights!