Leaving Cincinnati

I really hate Cincinnati. If I had the option, I would never, ever go back. However, my brothers, extended family, and many, many friends still live there. While they are not able to redeem the city of its innumerable issues, they are enough to draw me back from time-to-time.

My brother says that I'm "spoiled" by Chicago, that I've had it way too easy in the land of Boystown and Diversity, and that I simply wouldn't last in a town like Cincinnati anymore because I'm now accustomed to Chicago's lifestyle. Which is true to an extent, but that's pretty much a simplification of the reasons that I prefer Chicago to Cinci-tucky-nati.

The truth is that I feel at ease in Chicago. In a city as big and diverse as Chicago, I feel like I can be myself at all times and worry very little, if any, about my personal safety. Specifically, I can wander down the street hand-in-hand with my boyfriend and not feel like I'll be shot, I can sit at a dinner table and speak openly about all things gay and not worry about a manager asking me to quiet down or leave because the table of people next to me are "uncomfortable." I'm free and not repressed.

Many of my friends in Cincinnati don't get it. Well, I think maybe they do, but they give me a harder time about it than I deserve. I get uncomfortable in overly-straight bars. Not bars that are straight, but bars where the boys feel as if they need to constantly assert their pussy-loving masculinity. In a bar where, god forbid, I tap a guy on the shoulder to get by him or if I happen to look at a good-looking guy the immediate reaction is rage and chest-puffing, I don't feel welcome.

Many gay men feel perfectly at home in straight bars, just like many of my straight friends feel perfectly at home in gay bars. But there's a limit. I wouldn't take any of my straight friends to a bar like Touche in Chicago, were there's a "back room" and the focus is absolutely on sex. Hell, I probably wouldn't take them to Jackhammer, where gay porn is constantly playing on the screens. That would be uncomfortable for them. Likewise, I don't enjoy bars that solely focus on the delicate breeding dance of the hetero male and female, or bars that exude anti-gay sentimentalities.

Cincinnati, as a whole, is not a very gay-welcoming town, from my experience. It's supposedly getting better, but I'm pretty sure it will never be like Chicago. Or New York. L.A. San Francisco. One day, when the city changes things around, I'll reassess my opinion, but until then, I'd highly recommend avoiding Cincinnati at all costs, unless of course you are white, married, middle-aged, middle-income and have children. Then the town is quite quaint.