Everyone clamors for more status symbols, no matter how ridiculous or petty. A few months ago when we "repurposed" (wtf does that even mean?) the office, it was the fight for the "best" cube. If you got stuck in an isle cube, you were obviously worthless and should immediately commit Hari Kari in the break room.
After the Battle of the Cube, there was the name plaque picture debacle. Someone in HR thought it'd be fun for us to all hang a personal photo next to our name plaques attached to our cubes. This was an obvious opportunity for everyone to show that they, in fact, had the happiest family. Next it was who had the best picture with a celebrity, and only after someone complained that a picture of a rapist on someones cube upset her (the picture was a guy with Mike Tyson... I know she wasn't really upset, she was just mad that it topped her picture with Milli from Milli Vanilli) did the underhanded picture contest stop.
The newest status symbol in the office is Bluetooth headets for our desk phones. I'm not sure how this became a sysmbol, but I think it came about a few weeks ago wheb IT sent out a memo saying that they were cutting back on spending for them. Up to that point, our execs and customer reps had them. They were on the phone all the time, it made sense. But suddenly everyone needed them to handle their 2 whole phone calls a week.
This battle has been particular ferocious. Employees have to convince their managers that they absolutely must have one, and then the manager must explain why the business will crumble if their data entry clerk doesn't have a $300 Bluetooth headset. Those that have conquered the Beast of Corporate Red Tape wear their trophy with pride everywhere. They never take off the headset once they get it for fear that the others in the Pride will grab their kill. They walk around the office with it on, taking every opportunity to show it off, like a newly engaged woman with her diamond. They'll even wear it to the restroom, you know, so they never miss a call (gross!). They worst display I've seen yet was one guy that wore it down to the caffeteria on the first floor. We work on the eigth floor. Just a guess, but I don't think it reached that far.
Last week, I asked my manager for a headset. I have never participated in these status games, I don't decorate my cubicle and I certainly don't don my company logo everything on "spirit" day. However, I could really use a headset. I'm on the phone multiple times a day and I usually need to access my file cabinet or any number of documents on my computer. I've developed a pain in my neck and back due to shoving the receiver between my ear and shoulder. In short, a headset would actually make my job easier. Sadly, all the headsets were gone by this point.
Normally, I would have said "oh well" and went about my business. This really irked me though. Most of the people in my office with headsets really only used them once or twice a week, and that was when their girlfriend called. So I asked again, this time going straight to IT, and also explained my perdicament. Oh, I may have also mentioned how dedicated the team was to wear their headsets everywhere, and that one young lady still wore hers even after fell in the toilet (no idea if that happened, but I thought I needed some added effect).
This morning I got my headset and the department is now back to a surpluss of headsets just waiting to be used. And mine sits there patiently waiting for the next call, never on my ear unless I'm actually talking to someone.
Did I mention that I absolutely hate Bluetooh headsets? Personally I think they are just about the ugliest thing to come out of the last 10 years, right behind the Croc. Luckily for my office mates, Crocs are not considered "business casual" attire.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T
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