Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Thoughts On Closing Arguments

Today is the day. Well, one of The Days at least. Today is the day that the Proposition 8 trial will hear closing argument. After today, there will be nothing left to do but wait for the judge to rule.

He's going to be ruling specifically on Proposition 8 and whether the law has any legal validity, but this one ruling could affect many other states, possibly even support a full on case in the US Supreme Court. If prop 8 is knocked down for being the vile, hate-filled, ignorance-driven drivel that it is, than the same tactics used in this case can be used in other states.

There isn't much else to say on marriage equality, to be honest. What has been said is more than sufficient to support my right to legally marry my fiancé, and those that oppose it have sufficiently shown themselves to have nothing but unfounded bias in their hearts. Does that make them bigots? Some of them yes, but most of them are just too lazy to examine the reality so they follow along with the loud-mouth bigots.

My fiancé and I leave for Vancouver in a week and in a week and a half we'll be married. Legally. As recognized by the government of Canada and several other nations that openly support marriage equality. But when we come home, we'll still be just another queer couple fighting for basic rights in the eyes of our government.

Recently a co-workers husband suffered a stroke. It was pretty bad from what we've gathered, but he survived. He's had to go through serious rehabilitation to retrain his brain to talk properly and walk correctly because those functions were damaged in the stroke. Luckily the federal government provides the Family Medical Leave Act which provides that employers must allow for time off for her so that she can be there to help in her husband's rehabilitation. It's a tough spot for her to be in, but FMLA helps.

If either of me or my husband to be were in the same boat we would not be afforded that right. The federal government does boy provide that protection to us because it will not recognize out marriage. My employer has voluntarily extended that right to me, although I must provides mountains of documentation whereas hetero couples simply provide a marriage certificate. But his employer does not provide that same benefit. If I were to fall sick or something tragic happen to me, we would have to chose between having an income and him being there to help me recover.

We are often asked what exactly we would gain from marriage equality. While there is some truth to gaining public acceptance and equal societal standing, the reality is that we would gain basic, human rights. The right to see my husband in the hospital without question. The right to make decisions on each others behalf if we can no longer make a decision for ourselves. The right to not lose our jobs because our family is working through a tragedy.

Sure, maybe this all seems melodramatic. Maybe you're thinking this post is just a little too serious for a Wednesday morning. But as I get closer to being married, I've started to really examine these questions. It's not just a word or a term anymore. It is a set of right, benefits, and protections from our goverent, as well as a final committment to my partner. And I can't for the life of me understand what is so terrible about that.


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