For a brief moment, I thought Monday was going to start out good. Super cute guy gets on the bus with a great build and an adorable smile. A smile. At 7:45 am on a Monday. I should have known something was wrong...
My eyes perked up and my mood lifted a tiny bit. I'm a married man now, but a cute boy can always be appreciated.
But then I noticed a few things. Strike one: tie-dyed t-shirt. I'm not sure who in his life allowed him to hang on to this relic of middle-school summer camp life, but they should be fired. At least it was tight fitting.
Strike two: he sat like a dude-bro douche. He found a seat that faced the isle, stretched his leg over into the seat next to him AND put his bag in the seat next to that. Oh, and he extended his legs fully into the isle. I could practically smell the cheap Axe body spray on the other side of the bus.
But the biggest strike of all? He busted out a (mostly) empty Coke bottle, twisted off the top and began spitting into it a black, goopy substance. Oh yes, he was chewing tobacco. At 7:45 am. On a public bus. While being a douche wearing a nappy ass t-shirt. And while for a brief millisecond I remembered fondly my years in Kentucky, I was happy when he strolled off the bus a few stops later.
Oh yeah, and he had no butt. It was very, very sad.
Anyway, happy Monday!
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