To Wear A Pretty Pink Tutu

I lived in rural, pan handle Florida when I was in the later half of Middle School. We had moved from a very rural small town in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan the summer before my 7th grade year to Florida as part of one of my dad's transfers and I was generally happy to get back down to the South. Warmer weather, white sand beaches, actual summers, all of these things had me super excited about life in Florida.

The one thing I didn’t expect is that life in the South can be a bit… special sometimes. They live by their own rules and don't really give a damn what others think about it. And many of those rules don't seem to follow any sort of social trend whatsoever.

Earrings And Boy Bling

Somewhere in my 7th grade year I decided that I wanted to get my ear pierced. Just one in the left ear, as was the socially accepted thing for teenage males to do at the time. The day after I got my ear pierced, I strolled into all of my classes shyly showing off my new jewelry. Some of the other boys were jealous because their parents wouldn't let them get pierced, some were disinterested altogether, and others ribbed me a little. I was still the new kid then, after all.

The proverbial feces hit the fan as I walked into my band class that afternoon though. I had just recently been bumped up to the advanced band class and had just been accepted in to the all-county band for percussion. Mallet percussion, to be exact. When my (very, very southern) teacher noticed my earring though, he threw a hissy fit! He ranted and raved about how boys just don't wear earrings and that men and women are different and that it just wasn't right, by God! He did this in front of the entire class and proceeded to scream at me for several minutes before demanding I take out my earring. You would have thought I was wearing a pretty pink tutu with a "too many Christians, not enough lions" t-shirt and painted up like a member of the Insane Clown Posse. When I refused, he told me to sit in his office until after class and he would "deal with me then."

When he came to "deal with me," he again huffed and buffed about antiquated concepts of gender roles and masculinity. I am not one to back down, particularly when I know I am correct, so I fought right back and stood toe-to-toe with this man until he was so fed up he sent me to the principal's office. This was the very first time I had ever been to the principal's office mind you, not just at my new school.

My mother was called in to the school and I was asked by the school administration to remove my earring. I started to refuse, but before I could even get my protest out my mother had jumped in to defend my right to wear an earring if I so choose and if she approved. Other students had them, after all, so why would I be singled out? After a bit of a heated debate, and after the administration had discussed the topic with my band teacher (if I could have been a fly on the wall for that conversation…), it was decided that the best "compromise" would be for me to take out my earring before his class only. Any other time I could wear it, but not in his class.

Fight The Man, Tuxedo Girl!

Why do I bring this story up? Because that was just a minor infraction in that part of Florida's unwritten code of conduct, and it was very upsetting. My rights and my protections were violated based on some far outdated code of gender norms. So I can sympathize when I see stories about a young, Southern woman who wanted to wear a tux for her senior picture who was then completely omitted from her year book. Her school didn't print her picture, her name, her accomplishments… it was as if she just didn't go there.

She is now suing the school district with the help of the ACLU and I cannot support her more in deciding to do so. There is no reason for this type of discrimination. Gender conformity is a very strong and vile force in this country, and obviously in some parts more so than others, but it is one that can have lasting negative effects on someone. So I say good luck to her in her lawsuit and a big Screw You to decidedly vicious Southern preconceptions concerning how others should lead their lives.